The better people are, the less gregarious they are?

British author William Somerset Maugham said: "In this world we are all alone."

Every company has more or less elites, who are always busy with their work, do things calmly, and solve problems quickly.

His excellence is obvious, but it's hard to get close to him.

Invite a colleague for a drink, he does not have a lot of free time;

Ask him to play cards and chat, and he is not free either.

Colleagues thought: "What if I'm good?, but I'm a loner! I don't have time to play with you because I have so many things and plans."

A good person doesn't fit in because he spends his time making himself better

A good person is good because they put in extraordinary effort.

They have an objective view of themselves and their limitations. He knew he had to work harder than others to surpass them.

So they grab every minute and second to improve their knowledge and abilities so they can get better.

This gap is most pronounced among graduate students of the same period.

The same school, the same major, meet after ten years after graduation, you will find that the fate and status of some people are very different. If you exclude the "rich second generation" and "wife", you will find that those who can walk ahead of others must have worked harder than others to get where they are today.

Zeng Guofan said: "You can't miss a day in the morning. If you don't study in childhood, you will miss your life. The harder you work, the luckier you will be. The better you are, the more you know the importance of hard work."

In their eyes, it has become a habit to strive to keep themselves excellent and not be overtaken by others.

Excellent people also have strong self-discipline.

Chiang Kai-shek once commented on Mao Zedong: "Mao Zedong should not be taken lightly." He was a heavy smoker, but when he knew I didn't smoke, he never smoked when he was talking to me. His determination and spirit cannot be underestimated. "

Self-discipline is the foundation of excellence. Disciplined people seem boring and unsocial. He doesn't do what he wants.

They don't indulge or indulge themselves in time. While ordinary people gain temporary happiness at the expense of health, they gain a boost in their own worth at the expense of entertainment.

Good people are not unfit, they just don't fit your group

It's not that a good person isn't social, it's just that their social circle is different from yours. This fact makes me a little sad!!

A few years ago, a popular post on WeChat Moments urged young people to give up useless social connections and focus on improving themselves. Why are some social activities useless?

Because there are only two kinds of society in nature: one is an "empathetic society" and the other is a "utilitarian society".

For example, you like to drink with colleagues after get off work, gossip and scold your boss.

This is the so-called "social empathy".

A good person does not need this kind of empathy.

He doesn't like the boss, so instead of scolding you, he looks for new opportunities to kick the boss out.

Where do new opportunities come from? This is called "utilitarian socialization", where value is exchanged for mutual benefit. You certainly don't have the ability to help him achieve "value exchange".

So, he wants to associate with the right person.

The only reason you think he doesn't fit in is because your circles are different.

Secondly, because a good person likes to learn and think, his thinking will be more advanced. In the communication with ordinary people, it is difficult to have the collision and resonance of ideas.

The psychologist summed it up with a mean-sounding statement: "If a good person doesn't fit into the group, he thinks everyone in the group is stupid!"

Groupthink is a terrifying phenomenon that makes people in a group lose their ability to think and judge and ignore the existence of facts. The sinking of the Titanic is a good example.

There were at least four warnings that an iceberg might have been seen before the ship sank, but ultimately speculation was overwhelmed by group thinking, leading to tragedy.

When a good person shows his different ideas in the group, like "stand out", others will just stay away, and the end result is still not social.

So, why bother?