Unqualified performance? Want to jump ship? Empty pockets on New Year's Eve? Fighting workplace anxiety with you

When I got to the office this morning, I found that everyone was drowsy and sighing. Anxiety in the office erupted once again, and every once in a while this anxiety became popular like a cold.

The time point for this collective explosion is the end of the year. It stands to reason that the New Year is coming, which is a very happy thing. But for our group of professionals, this year is not a good time. The closer the new year is, the more anxious everyone is.

Unqualified performance? Want to jump ship? Empty pockets on New Year's Eve? Fighting workplace anxiety with you

Why worry? Everyone babbles, and the reason is nothing more than:

I don’t usually feel that much. When I summarize at the end of the year, I find that the performance is so much worse. After thinking about it again, I find that I have not gained much this year, and my salary has not increased. When I compare it with other people’s year-end awards, I feel even more uneasy. Balanced, why is this kid not as capable as me, and the workplace is not as good as me, why does he get more money than me?

As Sister Li in the office said, there are five life-threatening questions in the workplace at the end of the year:

Is the performance up to the mark?

Have you written a year-end summary?

Has the year-end bonus been issued?

Have you achieved anything this year?

Are you going to change jobs next year?

And think about the life-threatening serial calls that are about to face the seven aunts and eight aunts who are urging marriage, childbirth, and urging the second child, and also consider the money in your pocket, whether it is enough for the fare, whether it is enough to buy New Year's goods, and whether it is enough to give The lucky money of the "bear children" is not enough, and they are also anxious.

So what to do?

I don’t know if you have noticed, but our anxiety is all about the past, or the things that haven’t come. And a considerable part of it is other people's things, or other people's reactions. This shows what? It shows that anxiety is because we put everything on the things that cannot be changed.

The past performance can no longer be changed, so it is useless to worry about it; we can't decide other people's year-end awards, and we can't keep the mouths of the seven aunts and eight aunts closed. The only thing we can change is our own attitude and behavior.

There is an experiment in psychology called the "white bear experiment". It's about a group of experimenters who were asked not to think about white bears after watching a documentary about them. But the more you are not asked to think about white bears, the more you force yourself not to think about white bears, white bears always appear in your mind. What does this experiment show? It shows that the more we focus on the point, the easier it is to strengthen.

Unqualified performance? Want to jump ship? Empty pockets on New Year's Eve? Fighting workplace anxiety with you

For example, the more you remind yourself not to be nervous in front of your boss, the more nervous you are; the more you want to complete the report well, the more mistakes you make. This is the result of attention as reinforcement, and most of our anxiety is generated from this.

So, we have to learn to downplay the focus on this matter and do something that is meaningful to you right now. For example, if you are worried that the performance has not been completed, it has not been completed, then don't care about it. You can focus on the analysis of why it wasn't done. Maybe you will find that you don't know why you haven't completed it, because you don't have a record, you don't have a follow-up summary, is it necessary to add this item when you plan for the next year, break down the big goal into small goals, and Track it anytime?

Another example is if you are anxious about whether to change jobs, and you can't get the answer just by thinking about it. You can go to the recruitment website to see more. In the current job recruitment situation, don’t just listen to others saying that the economy is sluggish and a job is good, and don’t think about what is suitable for you and what is not suitable for you. Use a simple square matrix to put your own The advantages and disadvantages, the opportunities and challenges to be faced are written down, and under the rational analysis, the question of whether to switch jobs is discussed.

In addition to diverting our attention to something meaningful, we can also use exposure therapy, the practice of writing down the worst outcomes, to treat our anxiety.

Many times, we are always afraid of things that will not happen in the future, or think that the things we worry about will happen, so write down the worst results of the things we worry about.

For example, if you are anxious that your performance has only been completed 80%, and you are afraid that your boss will be angry, what is the worst outcome? The worst result may be that the boss is really angry, cancels part of the year-end bonus, and gives you a notice that you can leave if you don't complete the task next year.

Unqualified performance? Want to jump ship? Empty pockets on New Year's Eve? Fighting workplace anxiety with you

Regardless of whether the boss is angry or not, this is the worst outcome you can think of, write it down. So what can be done to avoid it? You will find that the performance is not completed, it is already a sure thing, you can't change it, then accept the punishment calmly.

So what else can you change? You can change your boss's attitude towards you. After waiting for the boss to calm down, discuss with the boss why the task was not completed. What is the reason for your analysis? Talk to your boss about what you think might be the reason. If it is your own, admit your mistakes and work hard to correct them. If you need help from your boss and the company, you might as well take this opportunity to speak out, so that you will let your boss know you better and communicate more easily in future work.

There is a saying how to say: When the boss calls you a bastard, don't pay attention to him;

But when he tells you why you are a jerk, listen carefully;

Anxiety is something we all have. But the attitude towards anxiety is different; all we can change is ourselves, work hard with purpose, keep trying new strategies, listen to others, and act on it.

So this New Year, we face anxiety, focus on things that can be changed, put our mentality, and celebrate the New Year with ease.