The more friends there are, the easier it is to walk---Talk about how to turn enemies into friends in the workplace
People are floating in the rivers and lakes, how can they not get a knife, if you want to be less tricked, you have to make friends...
Everyone is under pressure at work, and they also have their own personal and a certain department or team position. In order to protect their own interests, friction and disputes in the work process must be inevitable. Originally, the workplace is a competitive relationship of survival of the fittest, so if We do not deal with interpersonal relationships at work, and we have established too many enemies. No matter how strong our personal ability is, it is easy to walk into a dead end. Therefore, in general, we pay attention to maintaining the relationship with colleagues/subordinates around us as much as possible. Harmonious relationship, because the current workplace is a network of relationships that needs to be leveraged everywhere. If you want to go up, you have to leverage it. Most of them can only produce low value by relying on personal ability. Therefore, no matter what kind of industry, now Their work is becoming more and more like doing business, and they are all in the service industry, and they are all about making money with harmony. But as the saying goes, people are harmless to tigers, but tigers hurt people. In some cases, no matter how cautious you are, you will not be able to eliminate the hostility and vigilance of some colleagues, resulting in unsmooth work, such as the following Several types of scenes, do you feel familiar in your memory?
Airborne leaders face some old employees, especially the backbone old employees who are expected to succeed their predecessors.
Several people are competing for the same position at the same time, guarding against each other.
A leader wants to install his own people and exclude the current old employees.
Due to the friction of work and the long-term accumulation of grievances, some people are always making things difficult, and they are always targeted.
Due to their outstanding abilities, the deputy positions have been suppressed by the full-time position for a long time and have no opportunities for development.
Some other hostile attitudes resulting from conflicts of interest...
The more friends there are, the easier it is to walk---Talk about how to turn enemies into friends in the workplace
In fact, there is no hatred for no reason in the world at all. People hate you mostly because you block his way or violate his interests. Anyone who has ever encountered hostility in actual work will know that if there is a A colleague who is threatened by your ability, a boss who is unwilling to listen to your opinion, or even a subordinate who sabotages you, is very likely to become a nightmare for your career, a catastrophic blow to you, and when you When fighting these open guns and dark arrows, it is almost impossible to have the energy and time to complete any valuable and meaningful work, even if you have the upper hand, so what? This kind of fight is meaningless in the first place, it is a waste of everyone's time, and if the hostile relationship is allowed to continue, it will inevitably affect the normal work of other members of the team, including team morale and professionalism. Therefore, since there is such a big hidden danger, we should naturally take measures to solve the problem immediately. This is a "wound" that must be dealt with. Slowly, it may lead to the subsequent "infection" and a series of problems will arise. So how? To turn an opponent into a partner, here is a systematic approach. There are three steps in total. The following is an example.
First, transfer the other person's negativity out of you.
In the face of this kind of hostility, many people try to turn the enemy into a friend with a friendly attitude. Why do most of them fail? In fact, everyone in the workplace has similar IQs. Can't he think of what you think of? Why are you hostile to your good intentions? It's not because of lack of trust. As long as there is a lack of basic trust between people, no matter how rational and well-founded anything is good for him, his emotional emotions will prevent it from happening. Because he has great wariness and great negative antagonism towards you.
Then the first step we have to do is to transfer the negative emotions of the other party on us. Just like the unique skill of the Murong family in Tianlong Babu---Douzhuanxingxing, if we want to turn an enemy into a friend, the first step must be Strip away negative emotions and let him calm down and look at problems rationally. Here is an example of an airborne leader facing a core old employee. This old employee (Da Ming) has been in the company for 8 years and is known for his technical and business expertise. Airborne, so the resistance is very obvious, and even a little incitement to the employees below to engage in confrontation.
Faced with the predicament, Lao Zhang only did one thing, which was to invite Daming to chat with him at a coffee shop near the company during non-working hours. Both of them were seated, and Lao Zhang smiled at Daming, who was still serious. They both had a son. Lao Zhang's son was 4 years old. It was the baby he held in the palm of his hand. Lao Zhang talked about how to take good care of children and how to accompany their children to grow up, which immediately attracted Daming's attention, because Daming is usually too busy with work, he often travels all over the country on business trips and spends too little time with children, and he often feels in his heart. Guilt, so this topic attracted him at once, and the two broke the estrangement in the past and chatted. It happened that Lao Zhang also liked football, and there were more topics with Daming.
The more friends there are, the easier it is to walk---Talk about how to turn enemies into friends in the workplace
After talking about personal topics, Lao Zhang saw that the time was almost right, and he also chatted with Daming about the work situation. He looked directly into Daming's eyes, and told Daming with sincerity, including his own manager's position, and Daming's current position. It is the decision of the company's management that the position that does not go down is the decision of the company's management. He has no right to interfere or change. He can only accept it. He hopes that Daming can also clearly understand this problem. At this point, they are all "chess pieces" and have no right to it. What has changed, and Lao Zhang's current position seems to be a "beneficiary", but he told Daming that as long as he cooperates with his work, Daming will also be a "beneficiary", which is the second point that will be said below" mutual benefit".
Second, establish and carry out mutual benefit.
With the foreshadowing in the previous step, we can talk about cooperation. The basic principle of this step is "if you want to take it, you must give it first". To solve the other party's worries and concerns, and win the other party's trust, you must first make your own decisions. Some give up, it is not appropriate to ask for a "fair deal" at this time, and it may have the opposite effect. If you want to return immediately after paying, this relationship will not be established, there is no way to "break the ice", and you will live up to it. The foundation laid in the previous step is, at best, a fair deal, but if we get it right, mutual benefits are like pumping.
We all know that in order to pump water out, the pump must exert a lot of pressure, and it has to repeat the work on the lever to eliminate the air in the pump cavity before the water can flow into the pump cavity. Often we need to use a lot of effort to complete this process. , However, if a small bucket of water is first introduced into the pump cavity, the air can be quickly drawn out, and the flow of water is naturally easier to employ. The principle of mutual benefit is just like this water pump, so we should seriously think about it. For a moment, we have something in our hands, we can give it first. Of course, this thing should not be too expensive to hurt our own interests. Also, if the other party wants to repay us, what he can give is best for himself. Not difficult.
Still the above example, after relaxing the relationship between the two sides, Lao Zhang called Daming into his office sometime in the afternoon of the third day after that, and formally talked with Daming about "cooperation". Lao Zhang first praised Daming's contribution to the company in the past few years, and also admired Daming's technical ability. He bluntly said that he should be reused, especially in the ability to lead the team and business awareness to give support and resources, and also promised to help Daming. promotion and support. But Lao Zhang deeply knew that these verbal promises were not enough, so he gave Daming the opportunity to participate in the weekly management meeting, and gave Daming the opportunity to know more executives and exposure. This kind of practical interest made Daming feels very good, and it can be seen that he is sincere. In return, Daming only needs to lead by example in his work and continue to devote himself to his work, so that everyone in the company can see that he is obeying Lao Zhang's arrangements. That's enough. , This kind of "return" is very easy for Daming to do. After doing this well, we can talk about more in-depth cooperation and mutual benefit in the future.
The more friends there are, the easier it is to walk---Talk about how to turn enemies into friends in the workplace
Third, rational behavior + grace and power.
After you have achieved the above two points, especially after you have established a mutually beneficial relationship with some people, you may also face a new hostile relationship. Others may feel that you have handled it unfairly and have not given them a chance; On the one hand, how do you maintain the relationship that you just established? In case of instability or repeated how to deal with it?
Therefore, we have to find a way to make the other party consider the relationship that has just been established and the relationship that will be established from a rational point of view, fully understand the expectations and practical interests of both parties, and let him realize that this opportunity is very valuable, not just Knowing to taste the "sweetness" and forgetting the threat, in layman's terms, it means "giving both kindness and power".
Still the above example, Lao Zhang told Daming in a working lunch that he fully trusts him, and the smooth development of work in the future will require professionals like Daming, not just Daming! He believes that Daming has potential and value, but it is not irreplaceable. He tactfully told Daming that at any time, Daming enjoys "priority", such as promotion, and other talents are also within his own consideration. The subtext is that he hopes Daming I can cherish this hard-won close cooperative relationship. If you do it well, everyone will benefit. In addition, Lao Zhang also set a rough "time limit" for Daming. I hope Daming can work before this time point. Handing over a satisfactory answer sheet and report, the effect of this is obvious. Just half a month after Lao Zhang finished his lunch, Daming led the team to successfully complete the debugging of the upcoming APP program. Not to mention, sometimes, "carrot + stick" really works.