Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
"Uneasy" emotions, everyone in the workplace has
A good friend, Li Fa, called early in the morning, saying that she was very flustered and had to find someone to talk to, otherwise it would explode. It turned out that their boss would hold a departmental meeting on Saturday to listen to their market research.
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
We go to work, we are restless
"Just listen, why are you panicking? You didn't do any research?" I asked Li Fa. "It's an investigation, but you don't know. Last time, a colleague in my department was giving a report. Halfway through the report, the boss was so bored that he was playing with his mobile phone. After that colleague finished speaking, there was no sound in the audience for a minute, too. Embarrassing. I think my report is similar to his this time, and I'm too worried about the same thing happening to me."
It turned out that Li Fa was afraid that the boss of the survey report would not be satisfied, so she had been uneasy for a week, and now that it will be Saturday, her anxiety has become stronger and stronger, making her unable to eat, sleep, and fidgeting.
In fact, the feeling of "unease" has been experienced by everyone in the workplace.
I am afraid that the report is not done well, and the boss will leave on the spot; I am afraid that the customer will not sign the order, and swipe the mobile phone after a minute, for fear of missing the customer's information; In particular, now that there are layoffs everywhere, everyone is afraid that they will wake up the next morning and receive the news that they have been laid off, restless, anxious and insomnia.
This kind of “unease” in the workplace is accustomed to many workplace people.
However, if this negative emotion lasts for a long time, in addition to having adverse effects on the body and mind, it is also not conducive to the development of our work.
The dangers of "uneasy" emotions, you may think simple
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
Being restless for a long time will greatly affect our work
First, it can make us lose confidence and control over our work. If we have been plagued by this kind of unease, our energy and attention will be on the fear of the outcome, which will make us lose self-confidence and feel that we can’t do anything well. Over time, it will make us feel bad about ourselves. Doubt, and thus lose control of the work.
My friend Li Fa mentioned above is because she is too afraid that the report will not satisfy the boss. She has been worried that her anxiety has seriously affected her other work, causing her to fail to do other things well, and she has doubts about herself. , I feel that I am not suitable for doing market research at all.
Second, it can make us lose our judgment. There are many factors that cause a thing or a job to fail, but if we are plagued by disturbed emotions, we lose our judgment and cannot figure out exactly what caused the failure.
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
Anxiety can make us lose judgment
Because of the failure of his colleagues' report, Li Fa was worried that his own research report would end in the same way. This is a sign of loss of judgment. She didn't listen carefully to why her colleague's report would fail. She was affected by the atmosphere of the meeting at the time, and she didn't analyze after the fact what kind of report was the boss's satisfactory report, so she kept worrying about herself. The report is not good, which is a bit unbelievable to others, but people who are troubled by "uneasiness" are a bit obsessed, they have been waiting for the judgment of the result, but they forget that we have a chance to change the result before that.
In the end, restlessness is bound to lead to failure. This is a bit scary to say, but there is actually a theoretical basis. The famous Murphy's theorem says just such a thing, and if you worry about the possibility of it failing, then it will fail.
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
The Terrible Murphy's Theorem: What You Worry About Will Happen
Just like my friend Li Fa, she is always worried that the report will not satisfy the boss, so the result will definitely make her "as long as she wants", because her whole attention is on the result, not on the process, the more it is like this more mistakes. The more we are afraid of what we usually say, the more we will come. This is such a simple truth.
Since the "uneasy" emotion is so terrible, is there any good way to overcome it?
Yes, resilience.
What is resilience?
Resilience is a concept mentioned by the famous author Koji Kuse in his book Resilience. Resilience refers to a mental state and process of self-recovery, adjustment and adaptation when people face pressure or adversity. It is a spiritual force to face adversity and break through pressure.
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
Resilience is our key emotional regulation ability
When my friends see this, they may say that I am just restless on a daily basis. This resilience sounds great, but when used to deal with restlessness, does it feel a bit like killing a chicken with a knife? Not really. We mentioned above that frequent "unease" can lead to more serious consequences. Daily unrest is not a trivial matter. Of course, there is also a reason that resilience has a good effect on uneasy negativity. Let's see how to do it?
01: Overcome "crazy thoughts" and direct our minds to the right path.
"Crazy thinking" is an important reason for our anxiety, we need to correct the habit of "crazy thinking" and lead our thoughts to the right path.
Generally, thinking too much has a lot to do with our previous experiences. Although my friend Li Fa was worried about her failure because her colleague reported her failure, this was just a fuse. The real reason was her previous experience.
In her previous work experience, there were many times when she was so nervous to speak at the meeting that she was speechless. When she saw the boss, she was worried that her work performance was not good, and she was criticized by the boss, all of which left a deep memory in her mind. People themselves have deep memories of painful experiences, and when they encounter similar things, these memories will flood up, and they will unconsciously rehearse the scene in their minds, and start to "randomize".
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
Crazy thinking led to our failure
How to overcome crankiness and release anxiety?
When we find ourselves getting restless, don't resist, because the more you resist, the more powerful it will be. Trying to accept this unease, I admit that I feel uneasy because I have a report tomorrow, acceptance is our first step in changing this crankiness.
When the mood calms down, we can try asking ourselves a few questions. These few questions can help us learn to look at your uneasy situation rationally and find out the reasons for your uneasy.
Questions include, but are not limited to, "Why are you upset?" "Is it because you are not ready, or are you stuck in the shadow of a previous failure?" "What can I do when you are not ready?" I'm afraid, can I do something else to ease it?" Wait, we can all try to ask ourselves these questions and try to answer them. This looks a little silly, doesn't it? But it really works, and it's a great way to help us transition from emotional to rational.
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
Everything has two sides: even uneasy emotions are
02: Make good use of the "uneasy" emotion and make good use of its motivational function, so that we have the ability to manage crisis.
Most of us have self-awareness, that is, what is wrong with us, we are still very clear in our hearts. We, who are often "uneasy", know our emotions well. In fact, this kind of unease has great benefits, but we just didn't notice it.
This is also advocated by resilience, which is to use "uneasiness" as a signal, a signal of crisis. We can prepare in advance with the help of signals, and disturbing signals give us strong crisis management capabilities.
Li Fa actually knew that he was easily nervous when he was speaking. It's just that she focused on the bad results, and if she focused on the process, she would reduce her anxiety to a great extent. In fact, I know that I have this problem. In order not to make myself uncomfortable or embarrassed, make adequate preparations in advance, prepare the report well, and even practice several times in front of the mirror and become more familiar with the scene. This kind of The tension will be gradually released in the process, and she will be calm because of her confidence.
Save workplace anxiety: those who can't beat you will eventually make you stronger
Making yourself strong is a process of constantly carving yourself
This is the reward mechanism that "uneasy" brings. If we are uneasy about the report, we can do research in advance and make a report as perfect as possible; if we are uneasy about customer orders, we can improve customer satisfaction by improving our service level and professional ability; If we are uneasy at work, then we will continue to improve our core competencies, so that the company cannot do without us, and let us become a person with the right to choose.
In the final analysis, what we are uneasy about is the uncertainty of the future. The magic weapon to fight against all uncertainty is to make ourselves strong, confident, and to make ourselves certain.
One day, we will laugh and talk about our unease.