Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

A tragedy caused by jealousy, one was killed, one was dug out of the kneecap

In the early years, Sun Bin and Pang Juan studied and read together, and they were both classmates and very good friends. Sun Bin is diligent and eager to learn, and Pang Juan is talented and intelligent. The two of them are the top students in the class. But overall, Sun Bin's performance prevailed.

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

The famous military strategist Sun Pin had his kneecap dug out because of jealousy

One day, Pang Juan received a high-paying offer from King Wei Hui: to be the general and military division of the Wei state. So, he took office gracefully.

Like all company leaders, Wei Huiwang likes to win over talents from all over the world. Soon, when he heard that Sun Bin was also a top military talent, and that he was also Pang Juan's die-hard brother, he immediately entrusted Pang Juan to summon Sun Bin.

It should be a good thing for good brothers to work together, but Pang Juan doesn't think so. He thinks that Sun Bin's performance is better than him, and the leaders will definitely value Sun Bin more in the future. Thinking of this, he was so jealous.

So, he pretended to invite Sun Bin to come, and soon he planned to frame Sun Bin and make him a disabled person. If Sun Bin hadn't run fast, Pang Juan would have been ruthless.

As a result, everyone knows it. In the battle of Ma Ling, Pang Juan, whose professional performance was not as good as Sun Bin's, finally died tragically under Sun Bin's hands.

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

The result of jealousy: often a lose-lose

This is the story of the idiom Sun Pang fighting wisdom. In fact, in the final analysis, it is a tragedy caused by jealousy.

Jealousy happens to everyone, especially among good friends and colleagues

Jealousy is more common in the workplace. We can't help but be jealous of colleagues who are more capable and perform better than we are. Although it is impossible to be as black-bellied as Pang Juan, the sour taste in his heart is not uncomfortable at all.

We also know that jealousy is not only not helpful to us, but it is easy to push ourselves into a terrible emotional black hole. However, jealousy comes like a storm, and you can't control it at all! So how should we deal with jealousy?

Today, let's talk about jealousy. Let’s take a look at the two characteristics of jealousy:

01 Jealousy is human nature

Some people think that jealousy is a sour grape mentality and not a good thing. In fact, no, jealousy is a normal emotional expression, and there is no need for self-blame or guilt.

Experiments have shown that jealousy is beyond our control, because human beings are inherently jealous, and we already have jealousy when we are born.

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

Jealousy of good friends and good colleagues is actually a normal state of mind of human beings

For example, there are two small babies in the family. When the mother plays with one of the children, the other child will be unhappy, cry, and even scream. The purpose is to draw the mother's attention back to herself, because Not wanting to be ignored and wanting to feel safe is a survival instinct.

So, we are born to be jealous, everyone is jealous, it's normal, it's not a big fuss.

02 The more good friends and close colleagues, the more likely to be jealous

It's a little weird, but it's true.

We mentioned Pang Juan and Sun Bin above, they are good brothers, so why is Pang Juan jealous of Sun Bin? Brothers have grown so high, shouldn't I have more face on my face?

Not really. If Sun Bin and Pang Juan's business capabilities were much worse, there would be nothing in the future, but Sun Bin's business capabilities were slightly stronger than Pang Juan's, so they wouldn't be too far apart. You think, just because of that little gap, Sun Bin is more likely to be appreciated by the leaders than Pang Juan. In a few years, the number one person in Wei State will have nothing to do with him, Pang Juan, and he can only rank second. Who can remember the second child? Of course Pang Juan was unwilling, could he not be jealous?

What does this show?

When two people's status, birth and experience gap are smaller, the more likely they are to be jealous.

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

Scarce resources make human beings have the psychology of preemption and jealousy in order to compete for limited resources

You will be jealous of classmates, colleagues, or fellow villagers, but you will never be jealous of Wang Sicong, because it is out of reach. It's like there's a saying that goes: A beggar doesn't envy Bill Gates, he only envy another beggar who is richer than him.

This is because jealous people create a scarcity mentality.

At the same level, everyone has the same resources, which are limited. When the other party succeeds, it means that the resources they get will be reduced accordingly. So, the more anxious you want to get it, the less you can’t get it. Negative emotions such as anxiety, tension, and fear of being eliminated instantly take over your reason.

The resulting mentality is, how can I get it back? Some people even have a worse mentality. If I can't get it, you can't even think about it.

Since jealousy is innate, it only exists among people at the same level, and the changes in mentality can be big or small, and cannot be controlled, then what should we do with jealousy?

How to turn jealousy into a good thing? Let jealousy be your upward force

01Using win-win thinking to develop an abundance mentality

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

Jack Ma's Abundance Mentality

Jack Ma once asked then-Microsoft CEO Ballmer: "Who are your competitors?" Ballmer eloquently cited the names of a lot of famous network giants at the time, such as Apple, Sony, Cisco and so on. Afterwards, Jack Ma joked: "That buddy Ballmer is just a professional killer!" This means that professional killers are faced with either killing their opponents or being killed by their opponents, and no one can eventually become a top professional player.

Look, how did Jack Ma answer the same question?

Jack Ma was once asked, who will be the final winner, Alibaba or Amazon?

Jack Ma said: "There is more than one path to success in this world. Why must we decide the winner and loser? If we all live well, wouldn't it be better for the world to have one more choice?"

This is the "abundance mentality" in contrast to the "scarcity mentality", which is to believe that the world's resources are very abundant, and everyone can rely on their own abilities to obtain the resources they deserve.

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

Win-win thinking in the workplace can let us turn jealousy into a good thing

And win-win thinking enables us to have an abundance mentality.

So how do you develop a win-win mindset?

First, we should find our inner needs that generate jealousy. For example, a colleague and I entered the company at the same time, with similar qualifications and the same hard work, but this time he did a better job than me. In fact, the most fundamental reason is that there is an inner need in my heart that I want to have such performance.

Then, we need to turn our attention to how to meet our needs. For example, reorganize your work to see if you have neglected any details, or ask the other party's experience of obtaining good performance, find out what you lack, and make up for it in time to re-impact your target performance.

02 Drive away "malicious" jealousy and leave "good" jealousy behind

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

Appreciation among colleagues allows us to collaborate and grow together

Behaviors caused by malicious jealousy not only easily lead to a lose-lose situation, but also affect the morale of the entire team.

Sun Bin and Pang Juan are the best examples. One became disabled because of this, and the other died because of this. In the end, the prince of Wei State was captured, and the State of Wei was slumped from then on and withdrew from the ranks of powerful countries. When we find ourselves caught in blind anger, don’t let our emotions and behaviors fly, but calm down and warn ourselves that such jealousy can only be burned, not only can’t help ourselves, but will drag the other party and even the entire team into one A downhill situation.

The right way is to leave good intentions behind. That is to turn this jealousy into a driving force for their own actions. Well-intentioned jealousy is a growth mindset. One-time success does not represent the strength of our abilities, but just shows that we have more room for growth. For example, Pang Juan's professional and technical ability is inferior to Sun Bin, which does not mean that he will never be inferior to Sun Bin. If he can continue to learn, he may catch up with Sun Bin.

All roads lead to Rome, and there is more than one road to success. Since everyone is about the same strength, success is only a matter of time. If I try harder, I will be the next successful person.

Is it true that jealousy makes people ugly? Do not! The more capable people in the workplace, the more jealous

Turn envy into admiration, from admiration to strength

03 Compare yourself with yourself to improve your concentration and self-confidence

"The Power of Positive Thinking" suggests that when we feel uncomfortable and unbalanced, we try to empty our minds and think about nothing.

Clear your mind of fear, resentment, restlessness, regret and guilt. As long as you make a conscious effort to empty your mind, your emotions tend to soothe.

Then, shift your attention from the other person to yourself, and focus on the improvement of your own abilities. When we pay more attention to ourselves, we can easily get rid of the shackles of negative emotions and can concentrate on completing the work. At a certain point, we don’t pay so much attention to other people, and we pay more attention to our own growth and achievements.

At the same time, we must constantly build our own self-confidence, for example, to find and use our own advantages, some people have strong communication skills, they can communicate more with customers and gain their approval, so as to get more orders, and some people are good at observing , you can deeply explore the needs of customers, and you can also get good performance, so that your self-confidence is constantly growing.

Jiang Yun once said this in "Jiang Yun's Detailed A Dream of Red Mansions":

All jealousy between people is actually appreciation.

All we have to do is turn that appreciation into a force for self-growth.