How do you get a foothold in the workplace when you are highly sensitive?

Do you feel this way when you don't know how to work?

After working for a period of time, often feel very tired, very tired, hate noisy environment, do not like lively bars and KTV; face a lot of work tasks, open the phone with overwhelming work information, you will feel suffocated; do not like to give others If you cause trouble, you never dare to ask for it, even if it is a normal work requirement; you don’t even know how to refuse others, and you always nod your colleagues’ unreasonable requests.

How do you get a foothold in the workplace when you are highly sensitive?

I never express my opinions easily at the company's regular meetings. It is obviously a good idea, but I am still afraid of being rejected, denied, and ridiculed. In the eyes of colleagues, your evaluation is always good, and he will do whatever you want, but he is too withdrawn, unsocial, a little sensitive, glass-hearted, very fragile...

In the past, I was also labeled like this by my colleagues. I obviously felt that I had tried my best to please everyone, but in the end I still made myself very aggrieved. I used to think that this kind of me was character flawed, until I came across a book called "High Sensitivity Is a Talent".

I was attracted by this book, to be honest, because of the title. The words "high sensitivity" deeply hurt me. Many people, including myself, think that sensitivity is a very bad thing. Why does this book actually say that high sensitivity is a kind of talent? With doubts, I finished the book.

"High Sensitivity is a Gift" by Danish psychotherapist Ils Sander. She herself is a high-sensitivity type, and suffers from high-sensitivity. She knows the bad emotional experience and interpersonal confusion that this character brings her, and she also knows that many people say behind her back that she is People with character flaws, she is determined to correct them. In the process of correction, she met many people like her, and began to have a different understanding of high sensitivity through research. In the process of combining her own experience and years of psychotherapy cases, she wrote this book "High Sensitivity is a Gift".

This book objectively introduces the advantages and disadvantages of high sensitivity, but clearly affirms that high sensitivity is not a defect, but a talent. Why? Because the unique characteristic of high sensitivity brings us different talents, such as strong empathy ability and crisis management awareness. This book analyzes in detail the causes of high sensitivity, and provides 19 specific and feasible methods, so that we can reduce the troubles caused by high sensitivity, manage inwardly, communicate outwardly, and we can be ourselves at ease, It is also possible to be like a duck to water in the workplace, have high-quality personal connections, and get promotions and salary increases.

How do you get a foothold in the workplace when you are highly sensitive?

Today, let's take a look at how we who are highly sensitive should gain a foothold in the workplace.

01What is a highly sensitive family?

Maybe, we all know more or less some of the manifestations of high sensitivity, such as like to be alone, often being deeply affected by the trivial things in the eyes of others, but what exactly is a high-sensitivity family?

The so-called high-sensitivity group is prone to discomfort due to the influence of the environment and other people, and this discomfort is excessive in the eyes of outsiders. For example, the company's pantry may be the place we hate the most, because that person is coming and going, we feel very noisy; another example, it may be because of the boss's unintentional negative sentence and so on.

Compared to us, those who are highly resilient are always full of energy, they seem optimistic, they recover easily from setbacks and blows, they are lively and active, and they please others, and we always seem out of place.

Everyone is more or less sensitive. Highly sensitive people are not alone. There are 1.5 billion people in the world who are highly sensitive, which means that 1 in 5 people is highly sensitive. Hypersensitivity is not a character flaw, it's just a result of our high expectations of ourselves.

02Why do high-sensitivity people often feel tired and easy to feel inferior?

There are two main reasons: the first is that the highly sensitive people have too high demands on themselves. Every highly sensitive family has a deeply ingrained principle. For example, if a colleague asks me to help, he must have encountered something that cannot be solved, so I cannot refuse him, it will embarrass him even more. Rejecting others is very difficult in the hearts of highly sensitive people, so it often happens that they will meet all the requirements of colleagues, even if they exceed their ability, they will not refuse, and they will endure things by themselves. Carry it down. Hug yourself first.

How do you get a foothold in the workplace when you are highly sensitive?

The second reason is low self-esteem, a subconscious feeling that you are not worthy of love. That means we need to do something to get the love back. For example, we remain silent at regular meetings and do not express opinions on matters we disagree with, because we feel that we will be ridiculed by others for what we say, or we can only get colleagues and leaders to treat us by not speaking up to express support and approval. sure.

This low self-esteem, feeling like he has to do something to win back the affirmation and praise has something to do with our childhood experiences. We have been living in a negative environment since childhood, and it is easy to form such a thinking. Of course, there are many reasons for this thinking, because we grew up unconsciously when we were young, which means that we have no ability to divide and change anything.

For example, parents who have a second child at home will find that the boss will do some small damage from time to time or he will suddenly become much more well-behaved and sensible than before. The child is still young, and the older child still doesn't know why the parents suddenly turned their attention to the little brother and the younger sister. She felt that she had to make the parents happy or cause some damage to attract the parents' attention. . This is an unconscious state, and highly sensitive people are deeply affected by this unconscious state, forming that I have to do something, compromise and obey in order to win the respect and love of others.

03How can we gain a foothold in the workplace with high sensitivity?

First, we need to accept ourselves as a more sensitive and less energetic person. Only when we accept ourselves from the heart can we not compete with ourselves, and we can adjust our state to face all the work and tasks.

Those with high resilience always procrastinate, but they can get things done even when they procrastinate, but we can't. We don’t like the urgency of being chased by time, and when faced with so many tasks to complete and time is tight, we can easily break down and go crazy. Therefore, we must prepare in advance and arrange our work and tasks in advance.

The data shows that 80% of those successful people are highly sensitive people because they have strong crisis management skills. They themselves know that it is always easy to make mistakes when the time is tight and the atmosphere is very tense, so they always prepare in advance, make presets, practice all possibilities, and make themselves fully prepared.

How do you get a foothold in the workplace when you are highly sensitive?

It is true that the ability to play on the spot and adapt to adaptability is important, but even adaptability is played with a purpose and under the premise of all preparations.

Therefore, the first step for a highly sensitive person to gain a foothold in the workplace is to admit that you are a highly sensitive person, handle things well and arrange tasks according to your own situation, rather than obsessing about what others can do, why I can't do it.

Secondly, in the workplace, we must say no bravely, express our requests clearly, and set boundaries for the behavior of colleagues.

Saying no to others is a difficult thing for us highly sensitive people, but we must practice setting boundaries and expressing our reasonable requests for our own and others' behavior. We always anticipate many bad situations before rejecting others, such as rejecting a colleague's request, which will make him ugly, he may ignore me, or he is very angry and makes irresponsible remarks in front of his colleague Wait, first of all, I want to stop our thoughts and try it bravely. When colleagues ask for your help, if it is an unreasonable request, we try to say no.

Of course, rejection is also tricky. You can explain to him that now you have a lot of things to do, and you are in a hurry, and this cannot help you for the time being; or you can simply tell him how to do this thing faster and more efficiently, etc., in short, it is reasonable According to the rejection of others, pay attention to words.

After we try to say no, you will find that the results are not as bad as you thought, and colleagues won't alienate you because of things like this, and many things are too bad for you to think. We have to go through many attempts before we can slowly learn to refuse, and only then will we find that we can refuse, and we don’t need to compromise in exchange for anything.

Of course, during this period, there will definitely be some colleagues who really get angry and deliberately find fault with you, and it doesn't matter. This only shows that such people are not worthy of our relationship. You have to remember a sentence, that is, the reason why others treat us like this is that we allow it. Therefore, learning to refuse is the first step for us to change this status quo. It is also what we must learn to set limits on other people’s behaviors. Otherwise, we will only compromise and tolerate blindly, which can only calm things on the surface, but cannot solve the fundamental problem. , sooner or later things will get worse. You can't take it any longer, and your colleagues feel that you are unreasonable because of your sudden emotional breakdown, so say no, you deserve to be the master of your own affairs and work.