3 behaviors that make you more and more unpopular in the workplace, the first one will be recruited

Many students who have just graduated and entered the workplace have gradually adapted to almost the same.

But I observed that there are two different trends in them:

One, their social circle is still a few people from the same period, either former classmates, or the same group and the same business, there is almost no span, and a few are even "lone rangers";

On the other hand, the circle of communication is getting wider and wider. Whether it is the general administration, or the old employees and their superiors, they can all feel a harmonious and natural feeling.

There are of course unavoidable reasons for character, but there are also "later" factors.

I have roughly summed up the differences between these two trends, starting with a few of them that will make people around you move further and further away from you.

1. Don't know the etiquette.

First of all, we need to know that no one should be nice to you.

Courtesy exchanges in the workplace, especially between a few newcomers and colleagues, are not so absolute. If someone invites you once, you will immediately return the invitation, but at least you must be aware of it.

Among my own classmates, there are some people who are slowly alienated in this way.

He never refuses any meal, but he never treats guests. Although he took the initiative to liven up the atmosphere and behaved positively every time he interacted with him, but after a lot of times, everyone gradually noticed this. .

This may indeed be a minority, but you can't say "others invite you to eat Japanese food, you invite others to eat pancakes and fruits", it should be roughly the same.

In fact, these people are sometimes not necessarily intentional, it is probably because their parents are like this, so they have no sense of the world since childhood.

That's not to say it's necessarily bad, but it's normal for people to slowly distance themselves from you.

Let’s think about it from heart to heart, that is, when we give each other a snack in the office, you always give it to others, but he only accepts it, and then says “thank you”, but never shares anything with you. Will you also feel that you are facing a piece of cake? wood? Gradually there will be no enthusiasm?

2. The desire to express is too strong

Anyone who is seriously interviewed for a company will inevitably have the idea of ​​"doing well", which is normal.

But too much self-awareness is bad.

There are generally two consequences:

First, you talk too much accidentally, especially in crowded situations. The more people there are, the stronger the awareness.

For example, when the team is in a meeting, the leader says to let the newcomers talk about their ideas, and you are really eloquent and talkative; a group chats together and talks about the topics they know, and they keep saying, right? I also "think back then", completely ignoring other people's feelings.

As I talked, I felt so good about myself that I couldn't stop.

The second is to take care of too much if you are not careful.

When I first came here, there was an intern in the same period. Because of graduating from a prestigious school, I always showed a feeling of "disdain" from time to time, and felt that some of the current practices in the department were "silly".

I don’t know if it’s out of good intentions. Anyway, no matter who’s job is mentioned, he has “ideas” and “suggestions”. Sometimes he even thinks that the advice is not enough.

If you do this occasionally, others may appreciate it; but if you take care of everything every day, or take care of everything, and give advice to others from time to time, it is really a disease and needs to be corrected.

On the surface, everyone must say that you are warm-hearted and responsible, but in private, it is difficult to say.

Remember, when a group of people are together, don't talk too much, because if you talk too much, you will have no friends.

When it comes to work, if you really have any unique insights, just mention them briefly. If it is really useful, others will naturally ask you for advice.

3. Rarely consider other people's face

Although we always say, "In the face of unreasonable demands, we must know how to refuse" and "don't be a good person", but this is completely incompatible with estimating other people's face.

When it comes to your bottom line, you must defend your principles.

Otherwise, one has two, and your bottom line will be constantly brushed down by the other party.

However, sticking to principles can also be easy-going. There is no need to refute other people's face.

A person often doesn't care what you say, but more about the way you speak, your attitude and your position.

Some words, even if they are right, but if they don't sound good, the other party's first reaction is to protect them. If you feel that you have an opinion on him, then it will be difficult to proceed.

Therefore, even if it means the same thing, let the other party listen to it, not "I'm reasonable".

Therefore, it is important to learn to turn when speaking.

One scene that impressed me a lot was the way their team leader spoke when they were communicating with another team once.

At that time, there were two people on the other side. The leader was actually a post-90s generation, while her subordinates were post-80s. Before the communication, due to the omissions of this subordinate, some things were not implemented, and the two sides were still a little unhappy.

This young leader of the post-90s generation checks the items and progress one by one while determining whether the remedy is effective. That's when I noticed the way she spoke:

When talking about specific things, he is very direct, and he does not shy away from what he did not do well, but he only talks about facts and data, and does not evaluate individuals; in addition, when referring to the other party, he does not need to address him with "you" or "what have you done?" ", but use "Jingjie" - after all, the other party is older than her, "Can we do this in 2 days?" In this way of questioning, give the promise to the other party.

In this way, there is no excuse and listen to their own people to find reasons; and there is no "order" to their subordinates in front of other teams, but to give subordinates the opportunity to make amends.

When many children are in conflict, if parents force their children to apologize, either the children feel extremely aggrieved, or they are stubborn to resist, isn't it for similar reasons?

So, this little leader's approach, I very much appreciate.

write at the end

Of course, these are not just for new employees.

As said in the first behavior, "their parents are most likely to be the same", sometimes it's not deliberate, it's just "don't realize", "don't think there is a problem with this".

Have you ever seen those unpopular "bugs"? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area.

Next time we'll talk about what "little habits" can make your relationships better and better.