How to resolve the listener barrier in the workplace? Remember these 3 ideas to make communication more efficient and harmonious

My friend Xiaoli was very distressed some time ago.

It turns out that the department has just recruited a new employee, and his work performance is very positive and his ability is outstanding. But the problem is that every time we have a meeting and discussion, he always likes to interrupt others, he only cares about his own opinions and opinions, and does not give others a chance to speak. In the end, the whole discussion becomes, he takes care of himself Elaborate with enthusiasm and jump to conclusions.

Sometimes the other party often misunderstands and misunderstands what the leader really wants to express, which leads to the delay in solving the problems that the original department wants to discuss. Other colleagues were also very speechless to him, but they didn't know how to prompt the other party to change.

In fact, this situation that Xiao Li encountered is a very common workplace phenomenon-listener disorder.

1. What is Listener Barrier? What are the main performances in the workplace?

Listener disorder refers to an individual's difficulty in understanding the language, meaning, and attitude of the speaker in the process of listening.

In the workplace, it is mainly manifested in the following scenarios:

Often interrupting others during meetings, eager to add their own views and opinions. The usual expression is: Leader, my thoughts are like this, I think...  

My colleague has been under a lot of pressure recently. He came to chat during his break. As a result, he kept talking about the solution. In the end, he didn't even know what the colleague expressed.

When completing the assigned tasks, it is necessary to interpret it to others to show the true meaning of the leader, and finally delay the progress of the project.

How to resolve the listener barrier in the workplace? Remember these 3 ideas to make communication more efficient and harmonious

2. What are the factors that create barriers for listeners and hinder effective listening?

3. Knowing the answers to the questions to be discussed, it is easy to be preconceived

I don’t know if you have noticed that if you put a handout on the conference table in advance during the meeting, it is easy for most of the participants to stop listening carefully, and at the same time, they want to express their personal views and make supplementary explanations.

It is because people who are supposed to be listeners make preconceived judgments about what other people are saying, so it is easy to make their own point of view and interrupt the other party.

2. Eager to help others find solutions to their problems

When we hear someone come to us to complain about a problem at work, and the first reaction is that he comes to me for help, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that he needs a listener.

Although it is a helpful idea to help our friends find solutions to problems, it is precisely because the listener is thinking about solutions that he misses the real feelings expressed by the speaker, which interferes with listening. In addition, wanting to help others while listening also means that you have made a certain judgment about the speaker.

3. Fixed habits of mind can prevent us from listening effectively

Different speakers have different styles for organizing their thoughts when explaining complex situations. Some speakers pay more attention to the differences between things, they are called distractors. Other speakers tend to find similarities between things, and they are called concentrators.

When speakers and listeners are on opposite ends of a decentralized-centralized continuum, the different styles of thinking can create confusion or difficulty understanding, making it easy to interrupt the other person's point of view.

In addition, due to the pursuit of high efficiency in modern society, we always want to grasp the important content, so during the conversation, if we do not immediately see the value of the topic we are talking about, we are reluctant to continue the conversation, or even become defensive about the topic we are talking about. psychology.

At this time, if the speaker makes you feel unhappy, then your own thinking habit will selectively shut your ears and not listen to you. You are easily affected by emotions and cannot calmly think about what the other person said.

4. The mentality is dominated, which greatly reduces the listening effect

All human activities are determined by the experience accumulated in the past and the information that has previously acted on the brain. When listening to others, our brain processes and processes information according to the existing thinking mode, and it is precisely because people have deep-rooted psychological stereotypes and prejudices that it is difficult to receive the speaker's information in a calm and objective attitude. This can greatly affect the effectiveness of listening.

How to resolve the listener barrier in the workplace? Remember these 3 ideas to make communication more efficient and harmonious

3. 3 Ideas to Subtly Solve Listener Obstacles

Carnegie once said that listening is the highest compliment. One of the greatest benefits of listening is that it allows others to return the sincerity of our listening with the same gratitude and enthusiasm, so that communication can proceed well and in an orderly manner.

Knowing the above four main reasons that hinder effective listening, what can you do to break down the listener’s barriers, achieve effective listening and become a popular person?

1. Consciously put aside your own thoughts, pay attention to the feelings of others, and concentrate on listening to what the other person has to say

Communication between the two parties is actually a process of giving and receiving. The best way to obtain a good exchange of information is to first let the other party feel that they are being heard. In the process of listening to others, consciously control the Pre-ordered things to know.

Shelving your own thoughts is not to keep your mouth shut and not ask the question, but to wait for the other party to express their thoughts, and then ask your own specific questions to discuss together.

In the book "New Whole Brain Thinking", it is mentioned that considering the feelings of others can fully mobilize the advantages of the lower right brain in dealing with interpersonal relationships, which can be used to consider the OPV (Other People's Views) of others' feelings.

A person's feelings come from his values, and the formation of values ​​is affected by many factors such as environment, experience, education, and thinking, so it varies from person to person. Values ​​are part of thinking and often influence people's judgments. When considering values, we need to consider the groups involved and the feelings of different groups of people. This method is OPV.

Three questions to ask when using OPV thinking:

❶ Who will be affected by what I do?

❷ What will the affected people think?

❸ If doing so has mixed success, are there more people who agree or who disagree?

Application principles of OPV thinking method:

❶ Focus on what others are really thinking right now, not how they should be thinking.

❷ We must stand in the perspective of others, put ourselves in the shoes and think about the problem, so that we can empathize with ourselves.

For example, the new colleague of Xiaoli at the beginning of the article, if through some feedback from colleagues, he can realize that he always wants to express his views in a hurry during the meeting, then the next time this happens, he can Guide yourself with OPV thinking:

If I interrupt the meeting by speaking, the total meeting time increases and the time for others to speak decreases.

Other colleagues will think that I am strong and pushy.

The main speaker has not finished speaking, I have incomplete information, and my opinion is not necessarily correct. But the reasoning behind this view is meaningless if it is not stated in time. But I say now, probably most people don't agree.

And if I'm in the speaker's position, it would be uncomfortable to be interrupted suddenly.

When the other party thinks like this, they may choose to jot down what they want to say first, and then add it to themselves when the main speaker finishes speaking.

How to resolve the listener barrier in the workplace? Remember these 3 ideas to make communication more efficient and harmonious

2. Break the curse of knowledge and listen to the whole story

The book "Stickness" proposes the concept of the "curse of knowledge": when a person knows something, he cannot imagine that he did not know it.

To give a simple example, you listen to a song, such as "Happy Birthday Song", while listening to it, by tapping on the table, express the song and let your partner guess, you will find that even this simple Song, the companions can not guess.

You will be very anxious, thinking: It's so obvious, why can't you hear it? In fact, there is information asymmetry between you and him. You hear the song, but the other party can't, so you can't imagine the scene where the other party can't hear it.

So in the same way, when the manager knows all the information, he can't imagine the state of the employees who don't know the information.

Well, now that we know: there is an asymmetry between managers and employees, and it is difficult for managers to realize this asymmetry, which leads to difficulties in cooperation and communication between the two parties. Next, we know what to do.

In The Trusted Advisor, David and Charlie lay out a list of good habits for listening to clients. One of the checklist methods says, listen to the whole story.

If you want to achieve your goal, it is best to understand the ins and outs of the whole thing, so as to obtain complete information as a basis for your own judgment. In the process of listening, continue to add in-depth questions. The combination of open-ended and closed-ended questions guides the conversation and encourages the speaker to share more of what they know.

3. Take appropriate notes during the listening process, summarize the content of the speaker, and let the listening continue

Achieving good listening starts by making sure the speaker is listening and letting him know we heard. Failing to give a response after listening is like a letter that was sent and received no response, you never know if the letter was sent to the other party.

If you use your own words to properly restate the other party's position in the process of communication, it is the best way to show "I understand". But in effective listening, summarizing what the other person is saying is not as if it should end like that, but as a means of inviting him to go into more detail so you can really understand. Take notes while listening. When you speak, there may be some audience members who are listening and taking notes with notebooks, and you can't help but have a good impression of these people.

Taking notes not only expresses a desire to keep a record, it also shows a positive attitude to take what the other person said to its essence.

Of course, no one wants to write down useless words. That is to say, we take notes to show that we have agreed with the content of the other party's words, which is a manifestation of respect for the other party.

Make good use of this mentality, you can make the other party feel our sincerity. Usually, when the boss talks to us, we have to listen to the boring words. If we can take notes at this time, we can not only eliminate the boredom, but also leave a good impression on the boss.

In Illustrated Organizing: Learn 49 Organizing Skills Quickly, here are two tips to help get the most out of your listening.

❶ Organize notes into a bird's eye view

This is a method similar to mind mapping, which treats the entire conversation as a whole and organizes the content of the speaker's speech into segments. Record the highlights of the different stages, the things you didn't understand, and the things that made you think. This way, in hindsight, you can quickly recall when the sentence was in the conversation, so you can recall what you thought at the time and use it for further thinking.

❷ Utilize small icons and arrows

Sometimes, the speaker's speech rate is too fast, or the amount of information in the conversation is relatively large, and it is too late to write down the characters one by one in time. At this time, some simple icons and arrows are particularly important. The semantics of the other party is represented by small icons, which is efficient and clear at a glance. Just like taking notes in class when you were a student, you can listen and record while thinking.

How to resolve the listener barrier in the workplace? Remember these 3 ideas to make communication more efficient and harmonious

Fourth, write at the end

In the workplace, to exchange information, there will naturally be speakers and listeners. Because people have their own desire to express themselves, everyone may be a speaker, but we may not be good listeners. The main reasons are:

1. Knowing the answers to the questions to be discussed, it is easy to be preconceived;

2, eager to help others find solutions;

3. The inherent habits of thinking make us unable to listen well to what others are saying;

4. The effect of listening is weakened due to the mental set, and the desired information cannot be obtained.

There are 3 ideas to solve the above reasons for the obstacles of listeners:

1. Consciously put aside the things that have been lingering in the mind for a long time, pay attention to the feelings of others, and concentrate on listening to what the other party has to say

2. Break the curse of knowledge and listen to the whole story

3. Take appropriate notes during the listening process, summarize the speaker's content, and let the listening continue.

People who are good at listening are wise, because they know how to grasp the point of communication with each other in listening, and then explain it through language. Only in the workplace can such a dialogue be meaningful to communicate with each other and get real value exchanges.