When you are middle-aged, throw away these 3 things, and you will get better and better

Do you often feel that your current life is full of anxiety, impetuousness, and always a mess?

If there is, then you should stop and learn the life of "breaking and leaving".

The life of Eiko Yamashita, the founder of Japan's "Duansheli", before the age of 47, was full of depression, anxiety and unhappiness.

Her mother is a person who attaches great importance to money and items. Even useless things are reluctant to throw away, and they always make a mess in the house. And often quarreled with his father, Yamashita Eiko's childhood was basically spent in the quarrel of his parents.

After marrying as a wife, she met a mother-in-law who was very controlling, and even interfered with the work and rest time of every family member.

In such a depressing environment, she lived for 10 years.

Later, she and her husband moved away from her in-law's house and experienced a series of misfortunes.

First, the elder sister died, the niece committed suicide, the father and father-in-law died one after another, and then the mother and mother-in-law both suffered from cancer, and the husband also suffered from physical problems.

A series of blows made Yamashita Eiko unable to hold on. She asked herself countless times: Why did my life become like this?

In 2001, Eiko Yamashita decided to go to a temple to practice for a period of time. During that time, she gradually became aware of her own life, and her heart was unprecedentedly peaceful.

At the age of 47, she finally started her new life. In the past, she was always occupied by various objects, complicated and trivial. This time, she decided to live for her heart.

From throwing away excess items to clarifying complex interpersonal relationships, all that is left by her side are her "necessities". At that moment, Eiko Yamashita felt an incomparable lightness.

At the age of 50, she wrote a book titled "Duan She Li". She hopes that those who live for others, who are enslaved by objects, can find themselves and live for themselves.

Yamashita Hideko said that on the surface, "Duansheli" is a kind of home organization and storage; from a deep perspective, it is a view of life organization living in the present.

cut off, that is, cut off the unnecessary;

To give up is to give up the superfluous;

To leave is to get rid of obsession.

After reading this book, I have benefited a lot, and I am also thinking about what is the most important thing, especially when people reach middle age? What can I do to make my life lighter and smoother?

Now, based on the viewpoints in the book, I will share with you that you have to throw away these 3 things when you are middle-aged, so that you can get better and better.

meaningless bar

When we were young, we always wanted to make more friends. After all, there are many ways to have friends. Then I went to participate in various wine and dinner parties, and met those so-called friends.

At the wine table, everyone exchanged glasses, exchanged messages of brothers, and exchanged contact information in a harmonious atmosphere, thinking that you had become real brothers or friends.

When there is something to ask them for help, you will find that the "brothers" at the wine party are just a show.

If you participate in this kind of meaningless wine party, you will find that you waste your time going to the meaningless wine party, but you lose a lot of opportunities to truly enjoy your body and mind.

The older you get, the more you will understand that the premise of having multiple friends and multiple paths is that you should also be valuable to others.

When you're valuable to others in terms of abilities and resources, they'll be your friend without going to any booze.

This is the cruel law of the world, so get rid of those bars that mean nothing to you as soon as possible, and invest your time and energy in watching your heart and improving your abilities.

Sometimes, the carnival of a group of people is more lonely, and the loneliness of a person is not necessarily lonely.

look down on your relatives

As the saying goes: "Poverty is in a busy city and no one asks, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains."

Family love is one of the greatest feelings in our world. A good family love can help us when we are helpless and difficult. It is a simple and unrequited relationship.

But not all relatives have kinship. Some relatives are only related by blood or marriage. Not only can they not give you any help, but they even look down on you.

Just like Yu Huanshui's brother-in-law in the TV series "I Am Yu Huanshui", he is full of prejudice against him. No matter what he does or what he says, his brother-in-law has to stab him and belittle him for nothing.

You should try to stay away from this kind of relative who looks down on you. Even if he is rich and powerful, you should not rush to get close. This will only bring shame on yourself.

Because deep down they don't see you as a family member, but as a talking point for them to make fun of.

Some people have been trapped in this deformed "family relationship" all their lives, and they dare not break off because they always feel that they are still connected by blood; they are in great pain because they have no self-respect in front of their relatives.

If you are in this situation, please leave decisively, this life is only once, you don't have to live in the eyes of others, let alone the eyes of scumbags.

fake friend

When a person is proud, there are always many people around who seem to be nice to you, and they say they are your friends everywhere.

When a person is frustrated, you will find that those who were around you and called you friends have disappeared.

And when people are frustrated, you will find: friends always get busy.

Huang Bo is now a tens of billions of movie stars, but he has also experienced a grassroots period of poverty and whiteness. In an interview, he said:

In the past, in the crew, you could meet all kinds of people, all kinds of careful tricks, but now there are all good people around you, and every one is full of smiling faces.

Only when the glory of the past is gone will the false friends show their true colors. A true friend will not go to great lengths to please you, but will lend a helping hand when you need it.

Throw away fake friends as soon as possible and spend more energy on your real friends.

When a person reaches middle age, if you can get rid of the above three things in time, you will definitely reap a better life.

Only by cutting off unnecessary things, abandoning superfluous thoughts, and leaving the environment and people that consume us, can we concentrate on meeting a future that is more suitable for us.

As Yamashita Hideko said: "To take action, it may start from throwing away an unwanted small object. The times have given us a resolute and decisive momentum, and the courage to change ourselves and our lives in order to be the protagonists of this era. ."

And the task of breaking away is to retrieve everything that was wasted in the past.