5 Tips for Making a Good Impression
When meeting someone for the first time, it is important to make a good impression. So what can you do to make a good first impression on others? In the book "Elite Charisma Lessons", American leadership and charisma trainers,
Fortune 500 executive coach Olivia Fox Cabane offers 5 tips.
The first suggestion has to do with similarity, you want to find similarities with the other person. The book says that people like people who are very similar to themselves. This instinct comes from the era of primitive tribes. At that time, whether a person can accurately judge whether a person belongs to your tribe or not can determine your life and death. That is, when people are similar in appearance, behavior, language, etc., they perceive each other as having similar social backgrounds, educational experiences, and even values. Therefore, if you can properly say what is relevant to the other person during the interview or communication, you can leave a very good first impression on the other person.
The second suggestion is to integrate into the environment. If you want to make other people feel comfortable, be one with them. The book cites an example of how young people in the 1970s tended to dress in a "hippie" style. The researchers ran an experiment to see what effect the style of clothing had. They came to school wearing two styles of clothes respectively, looking for college students to exchange change for a phone call. Two-thirds of the students helped when they were dressed in similar clothes; less than half were willing to help when they were dressed in the opposite style. The book suggests that if you want to approach each other in clothing, you'd better do your research in advance. If you're going to a party, call the party host first to find out what's going on; if you're going for an interview, visit the office a few days in advance to see what the people are wearing.
The third suggestion is to learn to shake hands. One CEO of a Fortune 500 company said that when he had to pick one of two similarly qualified candidates, he would pick the one with the better handshake. While this is a bit of an exaggeration, management experts at the University of Iowa, who analyzed interview interactions, found that a handshake was more important than being "easy, cautious, or emotionally stable." Other research has also shown that shaking hands can improve the quality of interactions, making people feel close and trusting in an instant. Therefore, the trivial matter of shaking hands is an important step in establishing an intimate relationship.
How to do it? The book recommends that you first put the things in your hands aside, so that you don't have to mess around when shaking hands. Second, if you were sitting before shaking hands, stand up. You want to keep your hands out of your pockets because it makes you look more open and honest if others can see your hands. Then, when shaking hands, keep your hands straight, and if you're not sure what straightness is, you can put your thumbs up against the ceiling. The strength of the handshake is preferably the same as the other person's, but if you want to convey a special kind of intimacy, you can pause for a while while shaking hands.
The fourth piece of advice is to get the conversation right. At this point in the dialogue, the book gives several specific methods. A very simple and friendly way to talk is to compliment the other person's dress. After the compliment, you can follow up with open-ended questions, such as you can ask the other person what is the story behind the dress. The book says that the word "story" has a very strong emotional effect on most people and can jump right into a storytelling mode that can quickly change your connection. Another ice-breaking question is asking the other person "where did they come from". Whatever the answer, it takes the conversation a step further. And to keep communicating with each other, all you need to do is ask some open-ended questions. Conversely, if you only ask closed-ended questions, it's easy to get embarrassed while chatting. Also, you want to talk about positive topics, because people will relate to you the feelings that come from talking to you.
The fifth tip is that you end the conversation gracefully. Just as first impressions can add color to subsequent exchanges, closing remarks at the last minute are also important. If you feel attractive at the end, people will be more than willing to stay with you, and may even be reluctant to let you go. How to do it? You can provide some valuable things, such as providing some valuable articles, books or websites; or provide connections to the other party, for example, if there is someone you know who they want to know, you can introduce them. Offering something of value often deepens others' affection for you and can also make them feel that you are generous. The book says that when the conversation is over, you don’t have to wonder if there’s something you should have said but didn’t say, or how you can do better next time. Because it's not what you say that affects people, it's how people feel when they talk to you. That is, what people leave behind when they chat is emotions, not what they are talking about. So, it's important that you act authentically, and research shows that people are happier, more fulfilled, better connected, and more purposeful when they believe that others recognize who they are. Of course, you can't just wait for others to discover the real you, but you need to use methods like the ones mentioned above to try to let others see you and have a better first impression of you, which can also give you more proof own opportunity. Hope the above points are helpful to you.