Even if you really want to be with the other person, don't make good friends
The company has a new colleague called Newbie. Xiaohui felt that the novice's personality was somewhat similar to his own, and the work he did was also related, so he wanted to further communicate with the novice. Xiaohui took the initiative to approach the novice in the company, took the initiative to communicate with him, and invited him to dinner. But the novice did not accept Xiaohui's invitation, but found a reason to shirk. Novices in the company communicate naturally with others, but they are a little evasive towards Xiaohui. This made Xiaohui very incomprehensible. The topic we are going to talk about today is: even if you really want to interact with the other person, don't make a friendly gesture easily. Let's analyze it below.
- If you want to communicate with someone further, you must know more about him
Xiaohui just wanted to further interact with his new colleague and novice just by feeling, but the novice might not be what he thought, so his initiative to show his favor was unsuccessful. If you want to associate with a person, you must know more about him. Understand his behavior, understand his character and hobbies, so as to judge whether he can become his friend. You can learn about it by asking others, or you can learn about it by observing for a period of time.
- If you want to communicate with him further, you should first test his attitude
Xiaohui didn't make tentative contact with the novice, so he directly interacted with the novice. This attitude frightened the novice. If you want to further interact with a person, you should first test the attitude of the other person to see if the other person is willing to interact with you. You can try to ask the other person a question, or find an opportunity to do something together to test the other person's attitude towards you. If the other person is very happy to talk to you, then you can further interact with the other person. If the other person is lukewarm to you, don't waste your enthusiasm.
- Even if you really want to interact with each other, don’t be too proactive
Even if you really want to communicate with each other, don't show it. Communication is a slow process from shallow to deep. Haste is not enough. Xiaohui just wanted to establish a good relationship with the novice in a short time, but his attitude misunderstood the novice. The novice may think that Xiaohui has some purpose in interacting with him. If you really want to communicate with a person, you should hide your initiative in a quiet way, so that the other party can perceive a little bit of your own good intentions, but you can't let the other party see your own thoughts. If you are too active, you may be passive.