Social Rules: You're Not Sociable, You're Not Successful
Xiaohui always feels that he is not sociable. In the company, colleagues don't care about him very much. Even if he takes the initiative to approach others, others are still not enthusiastic about him. In the circle of classmates, there are basically few classmates who have contacted him now, and the only few remaining are still contacted by him, and like him they are all grass-roots employees of the company. Xiaohui bought a lot of social books and listened to a lot of online courses, trying to improve his social level, but found that it didn't work. He didn't know where his problem was, so he called the teacher. The teacher told him: You are not sociable, but not successful enough. Today we will talk about this topic.
- The social skills that can be learned are of little use, and social interaction depends on strength to speak
It would be an exaggeration to say that learning social skills doesn't work at all, but the skills that can be learned are very limited. Generally speaking, it can only play a role in interacting with people at the same level, and the most important thing is to appear to be more polite. Xiaohui obviously did not realize this, and always thought that he lacked social skills. He learned speaking and doing skills in books and the Internet, but it was not useful. Because Xiaohui is just an unremarkable grassroots employee in the company, and the future is not optimistic. In this lack of strength, how Xiaohui learns social skills is difficult to change the situation.
- You don’t have enough social value, and you don’t have good relationships
Xiaohui has always believed that Xiaodong, who is in the same company, has a very good relationship. Xiaodong is a department manager, not only can he get a good relationship with the employees below, but also has a good relationship with the management above. Xiaohui carefully observed Xiaodong's words and deeds, and sometimes even imitated them, but found that Xiaodong's approach was sometimes very different from the book. Relatively speaking, Xiaodong has more social value, so there are many people who are willing to associate with him. If Xiaodong is just a grassroots employee like Xiaohui, his situation is similar to Xiaohui. If a person does not have enough social value, there will be no good interpersonal relationships.
- Giving up the meaningless social investment in front of you and improving yourself is the key
Some people value their relationships very much and always want to build a good relationship with everyone around them. So put a lot of time and energy into interacting with others, and some people have to attend dinner parties every day. They believe that as long as they interact more, the relationship will be better. This may have some effect, but it is not decisive. A person of greater social value, even if he has never had a drink with him, can occupy a more important place in his social circle than you. The interpersonal relationships in front of you are temporary, and what really determines your social quality is your own height. Improving yourself is the key. If you are not excellent, it is useless to know anyone.