Social Rules: In many cases, the cool is the amiable
Xiaohui and Xiaodong have been working in the same company for more than ten years, and now they are both middle managers of the company. This year, the company has hired more than a dozen new employees. In getting along with new employees, the two showed different attitudes. In order to get closer to the new colleagues, Xiaohui often took the initiative to chat with the new employees and joked from time to time. Xiaodong has a cold look. Except for work, he rarely talks to new employees. After a period of time, the new employees' evaluation of Xiaodong is very high, and the evaluation of Xiaohui is average. This made Xiaohui very incomprehensible. The topic we want to talk about today is: a lot of times, the cool is the amiable. Let's analyze it below.
- The high cold on the surface is sometimes to maintain the due distance
Communication between people requires distance. The greater the difference between two people, the greater the distance. Just like Xiaohui Xiaodong and new employees, there are very big differences in terms of age and status in the company. This difference requires a greater social distancing. Xiaodong seems to be aloof, but he actually maintains this distance, and thus retains a certain authority. And Xiaohui was eager to mingle with everyone, but it backfired. This kind of high-coldness in order to maintain a distance is needed in many cases. It doesn't belong to your circle, so don't get too close.
- The posture is too low, sometimes it is not conducive to social interaction
There is a clerk in the company office who is responsible for printing and copying. The first attitude is very low. No matter who arranges the task, he actively completes the task and has a very good attitude. So people in the company assigned tasks to her one after another. Because of the sheer workload, she would inevitably make mistakes, so many people began to accuse her. Then the clerk left and a new clerk came. The new clerk has a very cold attitude, and he does things that can be done by others. At first, everyone was quite critical, but after a long time, everyone was very polite to her. Because if you treat her badly, she will give you a look. The same is true of normal social interaction. Your attitude is too low, and others will not take you too seriously. You have to maintain a moderately high-cold attitude in order to have a better social relationship.
- Getting along with cold people is actually not tiring
The office building where the company is located has a cleaning staff responsible for cleaning. One rarely talks to everyone, and turns his head away after sweeping. The second one likes to talk about this and that with others, and it feels very easy to get close to. Everyone in the company liked the second cleaner at first, but then it became more like the first. Because the second one comes only once, and will talk to you once, and you have to talk to her about her topic. The work is already very tiring, and it is very tiring to deal with it quickly. And the first cleaner came, everyone should do whatever they should, but it felt very relaxed. Many times, it is not tiring to get along with cold people, because there is a clear sense of boundaries.