How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
For many people, socializing with unfamiliar people can be stressful, even painful. Such as being overwhelmed, nervous, not knowing what to say, feeling anxious or low self-esteem. However, for some people, socializing with people seems to be a very easy thing, even if it is the first contact with a stranger, it can be very speculative to chat, just like old friends for many years.
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
So why is there such a difference?
Among the many factors that affect the differences between people, some are difficult to change, such as personality. We all know that extroverts are more talkative and social, and their interests are more focused on people; while introverts are more alone, prefer a quiet and undisturbed environment, and their interests are more focused on the things themselves .
A person's character is more determined by innate factors, so some people are naturally better at interacting with people than others, and only in the crowd will they feel a sense of belonging and at ease. Such a feeling is difficult for introverts to experience when dealing with people. Conversely, introverts are more at ease when they are alone.
Of course, in addition to personality factors, differences in specific communication methods also lead to differences in the state of getting along.
People have a natural fear of the unknown, so when facing a stranger, our psychology will naturally enter a state of defense. Faced with such a situation, different people will form different reactions.
People who pay too much attention to themselves will be more cautious in their words and deeds in order to avoid making mistakes or being hurt by others. Such people tend to be more silent when interacting with others. People who pay more attention to others can feel the tension and unease of the other person, which in turn stimulates their own sense of control. A person becomes more proactive when they think they have an advantage in a relationship and can influence others.
Such a difference in focus leads to some people being more passive, while others are more active.
Whether it is personality factors or differences in the focus of communication, it affects whether we have the willingness to communicate and contact with others. Of course, there is also a situation where sometimes we really want to communicate with people, but we just don’t know what to talk about. What should we do in this situation?
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
On the topic of specific communication, we can start from two places.
One is to prepare in advance.
In daily life, we can consciously observe other people, especially those who are good at interacting with people, what topics they usually talk about when they first come into contact with people. There are many such resources, such as our family members, our friends, our bosses and colleagues, etc. By watching their conversations, we can also learn and accumulate a lot of chatting materials.
In addition, we can also consciously build a topic library that suits us. For people meeting for the first time, generally you can talk about topics:
current weather;
current affairs hotspots;
Local customs and customs related to both parties
favorite food;
their own interests;
some of my own experiences;
and many more
People who have topic bank reserves in their minds can call up relevant topics in a timely manner when they encounter a cold situation to avoid embarrassment.
The second is to find topics in the process of communication
Every human interaction is unique and full of uncertainty, so preparation in advance is not enough. Whether the communication is smooth, the more important thing is the ability to find topics on the spot according to the actual situation.
This requires us not to pay too much attention to ourselves. If we always worry about whether we are being rude or saying the wrong thing, we will not have the energy to understand others, and thus ignore a lot of information. Such as each other's interests and hobbies, each other's emotional feelings and so on. And these are also the best topics we can communicate with others in depth.
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
Also, interaction is important.
It is easy for some people to talk to death, because they are used to the communication mode of one question and one answer. When someone asks a question, they answer it themselves. topic of. This way of communication can easily make others mistakenly think that you do not have the will and enthusiasm to communicate, and thus lose interest in continuing to talk.
Therefore, good communication and communication are not interrogative questions and answers, but exchanges and sharing between you and me. Only when two people are actively interacting will the topics of communication continue to arise.
It’s important to note here that not everything can be talked about in your first encounter with someone you don’t know well. In the absence of a full understanding of the two people, talking too much about some personal privacy may not only make the other party uncomfortable, but also bring unnecessary risks to oneself.
Moreover, in the initial stage of communication, because the mentality of both sides inevitably has some defenses and barriers, therefore, the most urgent need for both sides psychologically is whether to establish a sense of trust. The most important thing in communication at this time is not the content of the communication, but the emotions and attitudes that a person shows during the communication, that is, the feelings that can be brought to the other party.
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
How to avoid awkward conversations with people you don't know
Therefore, when we communicate with others for the first time, the most important thing is neither our chatting skills nor what we say, but our sincerity and enthusiasm in the process of communication. This is the foundation.