What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
People who can talk say what others like to listen to, and the audience is still convinced. Why do people who can't talk get overwhelmed or even talk nonsense in the middle of the sentence, and the audience has no interest in you. In the end, I don't know how to talk to others like a normal person. How to practice speaking
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
I believe that many friends who are not good at speaking also have similar problems with this friend.
Reasons for not being able to speak
Explain that people who can speak can understand what others want to hear, and at the same time can express themselves logically and systematically, which is persuasive and attractive to the other party.
Not being very good at speaking has both mentality reasons and method problems. Common situations are as follows:
- Confidence always comes first when communicating with anyone.
It is normal for you to chat with friends, parents and other familiar people, even chatting and laughing; but when you meet a specific group of people and occasions, you will be at a loss.
This shows that when you communicate with people, first of all, it is not the lack of methods, but the lack of a strong communication confidence. If you don’t understand the self-confidence of speaking subjectively, and you can’t overcome the nervousness of speaking in public in social situations, it will be futile to learn more skills.
- I don't know how to start, and quickly open the topic.
Many friends are in the first step of chatting, and they have already died, that is, they do not know how to start the first sentence to open the silence with the other party. This situation is called ice breaking in communication.
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
- It is easy to say the wrong thing, be embarrassed in the cold, and end the topic;
For those who are not good at chatting, it is easy to become the legendary topic terminator in social situations. This belongs to the category of method skills, and it is natural to be overwhelmed without mastering the corresponding method.
- will not continue the topic, will not change the topic;
You let the chat cool down, but don't know how to continue the previous topic immediately, or directly transfer to other things that can be talked about, so that your chat can get back on track.
- Lack of sufficient reserves of knowledge, stories, topics, etc. to communicate with different people;
This will make it easy for you to be exhausted when you communicate, and you can't express what you want to express, because there are too few materials in your brain.
- The expression is complicated and long-winded, lacking focus and logic;
When expressing one thing, the logic line is not clear, what is said first, and what is said later is not planned, and the language is dry and repetitive.
- Lack of humor;
Assuming that you are usually a serious and cold person, you can't be funny and humorous, you can't liven up the atmosphere according to the situation on the spot, although you don't necessarily have a sense of humor, you can win friends. But you are missing a powerful social weapon. A sense of humor is sometimes like a lubricant, a catalyst, and an accelerant.
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
Three reasons for not being good at speaking.
- Growth experience and environmental impact
A person's childhood, relationships with parents, caregivers, teachers, and his past evaluations of others, such as criticism, praise, encouragement, etc., all have a direct impact on his self-confidence.
Home and family are the starting point for forming your earliest social relationships. It is said that parents are the earliest teachers of a person. Parents or caregivers get along with you day and night. Their words and deeds are subtly affecting you, forming the cornerstone of your relationship with others in the future.
Parents will use their own experience and knowledge to teach you how to communicate with others. But unfortunately, many friends who have low self-esteem and are not good at communication have received mostly negative feedback in their growth experience, lack of understanding, acceptance, and praise, which will cause you to be often passive in interpersonal communication, unable to determine whether others can communicate with you. Your smooth communication, this uncertainty will lead to your lack of confidence in communication, but also affect your ability to communicate.
- Influence the negative emotional experience of interpersonal communication
In addition to home, school is the second environment where you start learning about interpersonal relationships, and many of our negative interpersonal experiences happen at this stage. The most common ones are being bullied, ridiculed, and excluded.
If these negative communication social emotions and experiences often accompany you, it will naturally affect your communication ability, making you afraid or unwilling to communicate with others. Over time, the communication ability will also degrade.
- Stressful events that affect relationships
When we are still very young, if we move, transfer schools, or change to a new and unfamiliar environment, we will meet new friends, new neighbors, new classmates, and new teachers, and there will be many uncertainties.
It will break your original rhythm and interpersonal relationships. If you happen to meet someone who is not too friendly, or a strict teacher, then you will be very stressed.
There is a cartoon movie "Inside Out", which tells the story of a little girl who moves with her family to a new city and starts a new life. She is in a period of rebellious youth. After encountering various interpersonal difficulties, she breaks down and leaves home. Run away, but fortunately the little girl has enlightened parents, and her courage to face the problem positively, and finally a happy ending.
But many friends are not so lucky. After many accidents, their confidence and communication skills have been affected, and they will be affected for many years.
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
What are the reasons for not being able to speak?
In the combination of the above situations, although you are under pressure to communicate and socialize, you still have to get along with people in some occasions, such as attending some schools, group activities of the company, gatherings with friends, interviews, blind dates, etc. .
And once there is a failure or negative emotions in a certain communication, it will increase your social anxiety. For example, when you're at a party, you feel like a failure because you say a word and get snubbed by others.