Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
There was a question on Zhihu, what can I do to make my life better immediately?
One of the responses was impressive - speak well.
If you think about it carefully, most people who can speak well have high emotional intelligence.
They may not be pretty, but the gentle tone, the right words, will make you feel comfortable with them.
They may not be outstanding, but you will be more than happy to help someone who can talk and do things at work.
This little goblin of life tortures almost everyone, but only rarely starts with such people, but it also gives a lot of convenience.
This is the advantage of being able to speak and have a high emotional intelligence.
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
certainly.
The more you speak, the happier others are; the happier others are, the more they will like you; the more they like you, the more they will love to help you; the more help you get, the better your life will be.
Ability determines how fast you can walk, but whether you can speak or not, it determines how smooth your future will be.
Think back to how many times you can't speak:
Want to expand the circle, but do not know how to make friends, missed a lot of networking opportunities;
When reporting work to the boss, it seems that he has not done much because he cannot speak;
Wanting to help the other half, saying the wrong thing, but pushing him further;
I want to urge my friend to pay back the money, but I don't know how to say it. The money is not returned and my friend lost it;
The world has never lacked people who can do things, but people who can talk.
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
- When dealing with colleagues
Student Mr. Li is the founder of a chain restaurant. He started from scratch. After years of struggle, he has his own brand. He thought that life would get better and better, but there was a problem in communication with his subordinates.
The orders or work instructions I conveyed are unanswered, and I feel very frustrated; the subordinates are unwilling to communicate with him, so that the work cannot be carried out according to his expectations; , is it really so smart?
The frustration of getting along with subordinates made Mr. Li very anxious. Later, after learning about Dougua training, he took a communication and interpersonal relationship course. After the course, Mr. Li shared:
The communication course has completely changed the way I communicate with others and the way I think about management.
In the past, it was very difficult to communicate with employees, and there was no response when I said it, which was very helpless and frustrated.
After learning, I found that many communication methods in the past were wrong, not only ineffective, but also counterproductive.
After the training, my communication with the staff is much smoother. It used to be a one-way communication, but now it is a two-way communication, and the effect is obvious. What I feel the most is that through communication practice, I can make a subordinate who was considered irresponsible and hopeless in the past. Transform into a backbone force that has the courage to take on and become more and more active.
I made a lot of mistakes in the past, and it was just that Mr. Gu saved me. I hope that our managers can avoid detours, so we have to receive training in the Dougua series of courses.
In the workplace, it is difficult for us to avoid communicating with leaders or communicating with our subordinates. How to achieve efficient communication requires skills and methods. Of course, the way you speak is even more important when dealing with colleagues at the same level.
For example, you agree with a colleague's idea, but there are some problems with his proposal.
You might say, "That's a good idea, but you have to..." Maybe you want to start by complimenting a colleague, but when you say that, that recognition is greatly diminished.
You can express your appreciation and suggestion by expressing your appreciation and suggestion by expressing a more specific hope, such as: "I think this suggestion is very good, and maybe it would be better if you change it a little here..." so that your Colleagues can not only feel your recognition and praise, but also better accept your suggestions.
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
- When getting along with a lover/object
Student Ms. Zhang shared a short story in class: One day, before Ms. Zhang sent her daughter to school, her daughter insisted on going to the gym for a lap. Because she promised her, in order not to lose faith in the child, Ms. Zhang decided to take her to play for half an hour.
The original plan was that Ms. Zhang would take her daughter to play first, and then the child's father would drive downstairs to pick him up, and then go directly to school. But not long after the husband called to come downstairs, the daughter was having a good time. Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
In order not to spoil the children's happiness, Ms. Zhang discussed with her husband: Should I let her play for 5 more minutes? You go and wait for us downstairs in the shopping mall.
As a result, the husband actually said on the spot: "Are you mentally ill? Are you stupid? Don't you know that the security downstairs won't let you park?"
The angry Ms. Zhang directly blocked her husband. Later, she happened to come to Dougua training to attend the training class, so she wanted to let him reflect and reflect on himself! Because at times like this, Ms. Zhang could not calm down!
Have you ever encountered similar things when you are getting along as a couple/couple?
If you can say it well, you can say a little patiently, "The security guard downstairs won't let you park, come down first" and you'll be done.
It is to say it in the most hurtful way, or to the closest family members! Therefore, those unfortunate families, the day-to-day quarrels and conflicts, mostly start by not speaking well.
Originally, the husband just wanted his wife to turn off a light and adjust the eye fatigue; but when he opened his mouth, he said: Why do you turn on so many lights? Don’t waste electricity?! I don’t know how to think about others!
Originally, the wife just wanted to remind her husband: It's raining outside, so pack up your clothes as soon as possible; a phone call came in, but it became a question: What are you doing? I don't know if it's raining outside? I really don't want to worry about it!
Originally, the husband just wanted to advise his wife that it is safer to go straight on this road, but the words come to his mouth: How can you change lanes at will! Are you dying? The responsibility is yours! Can you afford it?
Obviously, the same semantics are said in a polite, gentle, leeway, and imagined way for the other party, and the harvest is the other party's gratitude, consideration, care and practical action.
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
- When dealing with children
Maybe in daily life, parents often talk to their children in this way, such as: "No..." "No..." "No...".
Using these negative and negative ways to express to children is a big misunderstanding in normal education.
First of all, from a professional point of view, speaking to children in this "no/no/no" way is a form of negative reinforcement.
The more parents told their children that it was not allowed to do so, the more they increased their inexplicable resistance to the parents' objection.
For example, do not let children play with mobile phones, and are not allowed to play with mobile phones anymore. Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
The more parents say this to their children, the more counterproductive the child will be, instead of being obedient and sensible and not playing with mobile phones. The child may be doing everything possible to become more and more fond of the phone.
This is the parent who, while controlling, finds anxiously that the state of the child seems to be getting farther and farther away from the original intention and original intention you want to guide him.
This also means that behind all the "no/no/no" of parents, in exchange, is a child who is farther and farther away from his own hope.
If you don't want your child to procrastinate with homework, he will become more and more procrastinated.
You want your child to manage their mobile phones and not play with them casually. Instead, he couldn't control the temptation of his mobile phone more and more.
Such phenomena are endless. Where is the problem?
In fact, any negative words starting with "no" are meant to be an instruction to the child.
Whenever someone becomes instructed and ordered by others, his own feelings are very uncomfortable, because it goes against his subjective will of respecting himself.
Therefore, if parents want to achieve their educational goals, it is recommended to give up speaking from now on, "can not allow not allowed" similar to such negative reinforcement language.
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
It is completely possible to tell the child in a different way, and the effect that can be achieved is the same.
In his mind, his parents have certain authority. Especially for young children, the authority of parents is still very high.
Therefore, we must use this relatively equal and respectful way of speaking to communicate with children.
"I think..." "Can I advise you?" Similar to this kind of negotiation, consultation, and enough respect for the child's way of speaking, the effect of the dialogue with the child may be completely different.
So remember, don't use negative reinforcement to urge a lot of reminders to create a child who procrastinates and gets farther and farther away from his educational expectations.
That is not the original intention of our education. If we change the way of speaking, follow and respect children, the effect may be different.
To tell the truth, learning to speak well is the most cost-effective thing in the world. Another way of speaking, is it really so smart?
In today's society, we are all in contact with these things: reporting work, holding meetings, asking for a raise, giving speeches, gossiping with friends, educating children, getting along with husband and wife... And these are all related to one thing: speaking.
Anyway, you have to talk every day, why not say it's perfect?
If you also want to become high emotional intelligence, able to speak, hold all work and social situations, have a sweeter husband and wife relationship, and maintain a good parent-child relationship with your children, then Dougua Training sincerely invites you to learn communication and interpersonal relationships.