A friend failed the interview, and the interviewer responded: Be selfish?
A few days ago, a friend told me that he failed in an interview, not because of his technical ability, but because of one sentence: be selfish.
After the interview, the friend was quite happy. He felt that the interviewer had a good impression of him, and his technical ability was not bad. He said that this interview would definitely be successful.
But there was no response after waiting for a week, so he called and asked the interviewer, and the response he got was similar to what he expected, but the last question, "Why did you leave the previous company?" His answer did not satisfy the interviewer. .
He said at the time that he often worked overtime until late, but each time he did not do what he was responsible for, but what other colleagues asked him to do. He was embarrassed to refuse them and could only help them finish it. But after doing so many things, the company did not plan to give him a salary increase.
He later learned what the interviewer had said to him: trying to please everyone, unable to manage his time, not staying long after joining the job, and being a "selfish" person.
A friend failed the interview, and the interviewer responded: Be selfish?
I think the interviewer is a bit one-sided, and people's personalities can be changed. Realize that there is a tendency to please others, and change it. However, what he said about being a person should be "selfish" is still very reasonable.
01 Why "selfish" point?
In interpersonal relationships, some people feel that they are inferior to others, and they want to join the circle of others.
The more you do, the easier it is to lose yourself.
I'm an extremely introverted person, and it seems like I'm not very gregarious by nature, but in order to make myself extroverted, become gregarious. I used to force myself to join a gaming group that my colleagues set up to participate in their dating events, such as Werewolf. Every time I finished participating, I was very tired, because the whole event, I was fighting in my heart, telling me to escape from that kind of occasion. Later, I started not to hate myself, and thus lost myself.
When I became aware of these problems, I started to follow my heart. Others ask me to participate in activities, and if I am not very willing to participate, I will simply refuse. Go play games, I don't like it, then I don't play, they think I'm not gregarious, if I don't fit in, I don't fit in, I don't care.
It was this "selfishness" that made me slowly become like myself.
Pu Shu participated in a variety show "Summer of the Band" last year. Halfway through the show, he suddenly got up: It's time, I have to go home and sleep...
The host Ma Dong was left dumbfounded, and the audience burst into laughter, but Pu Shu really went home to sleep.
After the show was broadcast, some people said he was playing a big name, but more people recognized it. In Pu Shu's world, there is no such thing as being sophisticated, and he can't learn to be tactful.
He didn't want to wrong himself, suppressing his true thoughts to cater to the crowd.
This is Pu Shu, a bit "selfish" but real enough.
A friend failed the interview, and the interviewer responded: Be selfish?
Cai Kangyong is a person with high emotional intelligence, which is recognized by everyone, but he once said a sentence: "Actually, I encourage everyone to be a relatively cold person, I don't think being too warm is a good position to maintain a good relationship with others. , if you are bound by the word warmth, it will be even more difficult."
Xiao S also complained about him: "He rarely attends other people's weddings, he doesn't send birthday wishes, holiday wishes, but only birthdays, Spring Festivals, and Christmases. When he encounters questions he doesn't want to answer or people he doesn't want to get along with, he quickly finds a space and slips away. "
However, Xiao S also said that every time she encountered difficulties, Cai Kangyong would appear in time to comfort her, give her ideas, and help her get out of the predicament.
It turns out that his "selfishness" and "indifference" are to leave real care and warmth to those he really cares about.
After all, human life is limited.
You give more attention to people you don't care about, and where do you have the energy to care about those people you really care about.
A friend failed the interview, and the interviewer responded: Be selfish?
Be a "selfish" person and leave warmth to the right person.
02How to be "selfish"?
When an introvert is called to sing, his heart is full of "NO, NO, NO", but his mouth says "OK". An extroverted person, participating in a book club, wanted to leave in the middle, but reluctantly held on to the end. In the workplace, when a colleague handed him an irrelevant task, he thought of rejecting it, but he still accepted it.
Why did you agree to it after thinking about rejecting it? How to be "selfish", the key is to do the following.
- Learn to give up the image of a good person.
There is such a passage in Judaism: "If there are 10 people, there will be one person who will criticize you no matter what happens. He hates you, and you don't like him. And 2 out of 10 people will be able to Be a good friend with whom you accept everything. The other seven are neither."
More people just turn a blind eye to us, why do you need to pay so much effort for that person who hates you?
It is especially important to learn to let go of these useless images of "good people" that need to be defined by others.
A friend failed the interview, and the interviewer responded: Be selfish?
- Be yourself and follow your innermost thoughts
Follow your true inner thoughts, others ask you to sing, do you really want to go? will you be happy?
Participate in some activities, you can also ask yourself, what can you get by participating in these activities? What is growing?
Every time you ask yourself this, you seem "selfish" and don't consider other people's feelings, but you become more real.
A friend failed the interview, and the interviewer responded: Be selfish?
03 Ending
Writing so much to persuade you to be "selfish" is not to encourage you to be a selfish person, but just to hope that you can control your own time and don't waste your time casually.
Give yourself time to do what you really want to do; leave it to the people around you and give them more attention, so that your world will be more exciting.