365 days a year, less than 50 days at home, 10 years, when will the hard days end?
1
Today, I chatted with a friend who is in sales. His story deeply touched me. I believe that you will also think and be touched if you can read the story carefully.
The protagonist of the story, Lao Tang, is 38 years old this year. He is now the sales manager of a large domestic company. This is his second job. He has worked in this company for almost 12 years. The position, finally achieved the current office manager.
10 years ago, the company issued a transfer order to send him to the north from a small city in the south where his home is located. Responsible for sales management in a northern region.
When the transfer order was issued, his daughter was only 3 months old, and his wife and mother firmly opposed him going out. But in order to have a better career development, he really didn't want to give up this opportunity, and decided to challenge it.
This is 10 years, and in these 10 years, the average time spent at home is about 50 days per year. In the first few years of the transfer, the pressure was very high, and the income was not high, so I went home less often, and only went back once every two months. Every time I stay for four or five days, I have to set off again.
365 days a year, less than 50 days at home, 10 years, when will the hard days end?
2
In the past few years, it will be better, the income is higher than before, and the frequency of going home is also more than before.
He said that in the past 10 years, although he has achieved a little in his career, he has lost too much. His daughter is now 10 years old, and he does not know how she grew up.
When my daughter was young, every time she went back, she would not let him hold her, nor would she want to sleep with him at night. Only every time he waited for his daughter to fall asleep, did he dare to secretly kiss her, and at that moment he felt very happy.
It is not easy to be a wife. For so many years, she has been taking care of the children by herself. Every time I went back a few years ago, she would complain a lot to me, and the two would quarrel every time. Now that so many years have passed, she is used to it. She often said that this family is the same with or without you, and marrying you is like being a widow. Every time she says that, it hurts me deeply.
365 days a year, less than 50 days at home, 10 years, when will the hard days end?
My friend said, is it easy for me? Who knows the loneliness of a person outside. No one takes care of me when I get sick, so I can only hold on by myself, and I dare not tell my family.
Every time after socializing with customers, the drinker feels uncomfortable, and when they return to the dormitory, they want to cry when they see the empty room.
He said, you know what? I am most afraid of weekends. I usually work hard every day, and I go to bed when I get home. When the weekends come, it is very difficult. My colleagues and friends have to accompany my family, so I can only stay quietly by myself.
After listening to my friend's experience, I asked him: "Then you haven't thought about solving this problem for so many years, such as bringing your mother and daughter to your side, or applying with the company to transfer to a city closer to your home, If it really doesn't work, just change to a job closer to home?"
The friend replied: "It's not as easy as you said, I haven't thought about these methods.
In recent years, the expatriates are not fixed in one city, they have changed two or three places, who knows where they will be transferred by the company later.
The wife works in a local state-owned unit, and it is impossible to resign if she says she resigns.
I have to travel a lot for sales. Even if I take over their mother and daughter, I still can't accompany them all the time.
This company has been in business for so many years, and it is very familiar from top to bottom, and it does a good job. If you need to change jobs, you have to start all over again. Moreover, at this age, it is not easy to find a job.
365 days a year, less than 50 days at home, 10 years, when will the hard days end?
3
After listening to my friend's story, my heart is sour, and I can understand him in particular, because I myself have had a similar experience for many years. The sadness and anguish of this are difficult to deeply understand if you do not have the same experience.
In fact, there are many similar situations like friends around us. In order to make a living, to shoulder the responsibility of starting a family, and to dream, many people travel all year round alone, endure loneliness, loneliness, and cannot feel the warmth of home.
"Home" is like a beacon from afar to a wandering worker, reminding us not to lose our way. Really tired, go back and rest!
365 days a year, less than 50 days at home, 10 years, when will the hard days end?
4
In the workplace, I often hear people talk about how to balance work and life. If there is no work in life, then work will lose its meaning. I think it really hurts to stand and talk.
Open the Internet, there are also many such articles, teaching us how to balance work and life, how can these authors really achieve balance?
Life itself is sometimes contradictory. If you want to get it, you will lose it. If you give up, you can have it again. Sometimes it is really difficult to have both.
In an article I posted the day before yesterday, if you fall, don't cry. When you give up on yourself, the whole world can't save you. Adults must see it! I once talked about the experience of another friend. Her family was rich, but her father died in a car accident when she was just graduating from college. She had to carry the family business with her brother.
In the past 10 years, she has devoted all her time to her career, but she has not been married yet at the age of 36. She said: "Over the years, although she has been successful in her career, she has failed in her personal love life.
Some people say, why can't we do both things in the world? For example, I can work and study at the same time. Then I would say that you do this on the premise that you have to sacrifice your leisure time.
Maybe when you are balancing the two, some other aspects of you are losing, but you may not know it, after all, human energy is limited.
Of course, the pursuit of balance is not impossible, but there can only be relative balance in this world, and it is impossible to achieve absolute.
365 days a year, less than 50 days at home, 10 years, when will the hard days end?
5
So for these long-term migrant workers, is there any way to achieve a relative balance?
Based on my own experience and feelings for many years, I just talk about my personal views and some of my own experiences:
- Set clear goals and prioritize
Set yourself goals for different periods of your life:
When you are in your twenties, you are full of energy. At this time, you should go out more, see more, try more, and expand your horizons.
When you are in your thirties and have a family, you must find a relative balance between work and life. Career is important, but family is just as important. For example, if a child’s childhood is not accompanied by you, he will leave a lot of regrets for himself and his child.
People in their 40s and middle-aged. During this period, the pursuit of stability is the main focus, and the rushing outside is minimized. Children are growing up and their parents are getting older, so there will be less and less time with them, and more time should be spent with them.
- Do a good job of internal communication and negotiate the division of labor between families
No matter how you want to develop your career, you need the support and understanding of your family. This requires adequate and necessary communication with family members at all times.
Negotiate the internal division of labor with your family at the same time. Running a family is like running a company. There is division of labor and cooperation. Only in this way can we go further.
- Do a good job in time management and coordinate time arrangements
Do a good job in time management, improve your work efficiency, free up more time for yourself to accompany your family, and at the same time make a family time arrangement plan with your family, and jointly formulate goals for different stages of life.