The girl invites relatives to eat and wants to help them, and relatives eat and drink: Let's talk next time

Xiaoli is a student of an undergraduate college. During her four years of college, she has always known that a distant relative is teaching at the college, and she can be regarded as a "distant relative".

Xiaoli's parents also reminded her to have a good relationship with this relative if you have the chance, after all, you will definitely need help from others in the future. However, Xiao Li felt that it was unnecessary, and she seemed to be deliberately trying to please others, so Xiao Li never visited that relative.

As graduation is approaching, she is about to step into the society looking for a job. Seeing her classmates looking for relationships and going through the back door one by one, Xiaoli also began to worry. Because Xiaoli's major is relatively unpopular, if she doesn't find some connections, she will fall into the embarrassing situation of "graduation or unemployment". Xiao Li had no choice but to bite the bullet and invite the relative to dinner.

During the meal, the relative talked about the situation of the relatives in her hometown, because Xiaoli had forgotten all about it, so she had to be vague. The whole dinner party was very embarrassing. Relatives were always there to "talk to themselves", while Xiaoli sat embarrassedly and "laughed."

After eating and drinking for more than half an hour, the relatives felt bored, so they said to Xiao Li, "Xiao Li, I have something to do today. Let's talk about it next time."

As soon as Xiaoli heard this, she thought that she had nothing to do and went back like this. Isn't this meal for nothing? So he spoke his mind.

Xiaoli originally thought that the other party would help her more or less for the sake of her relatives, but the relatives immediately tensed up and said, "Xiaoli, I am also powerless, the school has its own allocation. , I can't participate in anything." Xiaoli had no choice but to go back to the dorm in a dejected manner, sighing at the warmth of human relationships and the coolness of the world.

In times of difficulty, people often get strong support and help from relatives. But relatives are also divided into distant and near relatives. In addition to close relatives, more are distant relatives. In modern society, the relationship between relatives needs to be maintained, otherwise it may lead to a situation where "distant relatives are inferior to close neighbors".

So how can we let relatives get help at a critical moment and relieve ourselves of the trouble of having no way to ask for help?

In the traditional relationship between relatives, there is often a misunderstanding: the relative relationship is a kind of blood, family relationship, and each other is a family, and it is necessary to help each other in doing things.

In fact, this kind of thinking is wrong. Although the blood relationship is "breaking the bones and connecting the tendons", the maintenance of the family relationship lies more in the mutual help between each other.

When we encounter troubles, our first thought is to use relatives to solve them. Distant relatives and close relatives, for close relatives, ask for their help to do things, generally they can get the best help and solve the problem. For distant relatives or close relatives who have been estranged, if you ask them to help with things, you must consider clever countermeasures.

When asking estranged relatives to do business, you can make full use of your sincerity to impress the other party, and then make a promise to make the other party believe in yourself, so that you may get help from relatives first.

At this time, the one-stop solution will not only fail to achieve a good effect, but will make people feel bored and make them feel that they "come to me only when they have something to do". And adopt a step-by-step method to gradually accept you, and you may receive better results.

The reason why Xiao Li in the above story failed is that her request was too sudden and did not give the other party a psychological acceptance process.

Graduation assignment is a very important matter. People are not familiar with you, and you suddenly invite them to dinner. Who would rashly agree to help you with such a big thing.

Don't talk about relatives who haven't dealt with for many years, even those who meet frequently need to be discussed slowly.