The most comfortable interpersonal relationship is not getting tired

In interpersonal communication, the most comfortable relationship is not getting tired.

You don't need to try to please, you can always do it rashly; you don't need to hide it, you can always be honest; you don't need to contact every day, even if you don't contact for a long time, you won't feel sane.

The family, love, and friendship we need are all like this. Only when we get along with each other is not tired, can we last for a long time, and we can live forever.

01

People who really understand you don't need to try to please.

Xiufang is a friend I met 20 years ago. At that time, she married from another place and followed her husband, my junior high school classmate A Yong, to be a teacher at the school together. Because of a class reunion, she and I became good friends who talked about everything, but Ayong became the person who can be ignored between our good girlfriends.

Over the past 20 years, Xiufang started as an ordinary teacher, became an excellent class teacher, academic leader, and later became the principal. This year, she has actually achieved the position of director.

Along the way, Xiufang's progress will be discussed with me in detail. I will also help me make suggestions and solve problems at work. We can always understand the meaning of each other's most wanted expression in an instant.

Because I'm two years older than Xiufang, she always calls me "sister". We appreciate each other and understand each other. Many times, many problems will be involuntarily thought of with each other. But because each of them are very busy with their work, gradually they only contact each other when they have something important to do.

With the promotion of her position, I am more reluctant to disturb her more, but whenever I feel that something needs to be reminded of her, I can't wait to leave a message to remind her; and she will always reply as soon as possible.

Rarely, when both parties are free, they will also find time to meet and talk about the "tricky" problems encountered by both parties, so as to find the answers they want. Every time we chat, we act as a "mirror", not stingy with praise, nor avoid shortcomings, and more importantly, remind each other not to make unintentional mistakes in some details.

Between people, wanting to enter each other's hearts does not happen overnight. It must be that they have experienced a long period of communication together, and have witnessed and participated in the growth of each other. This friendship is not family love, but it is far better than family love; it is not siblings, but it is more intimate than siblings.

02

The closest family members, don't "cross the line"

Not long ago, my 42-year-old sister-in-law gave birth to a second child, and I took time to visit her and the child.

Coincidentally, that day was Sunday, and the eldest nephew, who was in the third year of junior high, had a week off and was also at home. After seeing my sister-in-law and my little nephew who were still breastfeeding in bed, I turned around and came to the door of my eldest nephew's room and greeted him.

Unexpectedly, the eldest nephew responded to me extremely unhappily: "Aunt, don't come in without knocking on my door." I was startled, he was already a teenager, how could I step into him casually room.

Many times, as family members, we can't help but "cross the line", always expressing our love for our family. It seems that there is always an endless heart, and it is also an expression of friendship, but if family love is kidnapped in the name of love, the more you control it, the more you hope that the family can obey their own arrangements and propositions. A kind of extreme selfishness.

The so-called "big tree forks, big cubs split up" does not necessarily mean that the children and their parents cannot live together and cannot take care of each other, but it is a kind of respect, a kind of letting go, and a kind of fulfillment.

Parents have their parents' way of life, and children have their children's preferences. There is not so much a gap between the two generations. It is better to say that they all live as they want.

True care and filial piety do not need to be guarded day and night, but to care about each other and be able to take responsibility for each other when something happens. Parents do not interfere with their children's choices, and children do not force their parents to obey their own wishes. Everyone takes care of their own life, work and study well, which is the best concern for their family.

03

People who truly love each other know that letting go is also love.

My colleague Qiaojuan is widely recognized as a well-married. She and her husband are college classmates. After graduation, both of them were assigned to work in the township. After marriage, Qiaojuan's husband was forced to resign from public office because of the organization problem and started long-distance freight transportation. Although it was hard work, the income was very high. Soon he bought a house and a car in a small county town.

Later, Qiaojuan gave birth to a child, took care of the baby alone, and had to go to work again, which was very hard. It just so happened that another public institution was recruiting new employees. Qiaojuan's husband, who has always loved learning, was admitted to the post of community worker with the oldest age and the highest score among all the candidates.

Now, Qiaojuan has a helper to bring her child, and she no longer has to worry about her husband's safety when leaving the car.

Although community work is tedious, Qiaojuan's husband is very methodical. In less than a year, he has established a good reputation. In addition, he is very diligent. In his spare time, he also wrote a lot of market news based on his work experience, which has been reported by newspapers at all levels. Adopted, Qiaojuan's husband gradually became an amateur writer.

On the way to writing, Qiaojuan's husband, relying on talent, experience and diligence, published a collection of essays in just three years, and became a contract writer for a well-known platform. To this end, Qiaojuan's husband offered to resign to become a full-time writer.

In this regard, Qiaojuan did not hesitate. After all, her husband was in his early 40s, and he had suffered so much in the first half of his life. He finally settled down, and his life returned to steadiness and calmness. Once again, he resigned, really. A little adventurous.

But in the end, Qiaojuan agreed to her husband's resignation. She said that if her husband can't support the family by writing, there will be herself. The big deal, live frugally, as long as he is happy, everything is worth it.

Isn't it? People who truly love each other know how to let go and let the other person do what they want to do. They only encourage and support them silently behind their backs, because they love deeply, fulfill their dreams, and guard their dreams. That is to protect the true feelings of two people and the happiness of a family.

In fact, if you want to win a relationship that is not tiring to get along with, the most important thing is to be yourself. You have your own judgment, your own pursuits and hobbies, and your own career and achievements. In this way, others will sincerely admire you, respect you, and trust you.

The more you reach a higher level of life, the more you understand that everything is at your own pace, not forcing, not deliberate, not deceitful, if you come together, if you don’t, you will disperse. All the way forward in life, there will always be a more beautiful scenery ahead. .