You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

Introduction: Do you have this situation in the workplace? You feel aggrieved at work, you never refuse the demands of your colleagues, and you are never lazy about what you should do, but you don't get attention, or even They can't even get the most basic respect, and some people even call to themselves, and sometimes they don't know who to tell the grievances in their hearts.

Why is there such a situation? Being kind to others, I will try my best to do anything I can think of. I thought I would get attention, but I couldn't even get the most basic respect. The grievances in my heart are indescribable. The reason is simple, because you have made three mistakes: wrong concept, not rejecting, and doing what you think is right.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

The three major misunderstandings of doing things in the workplace make yourself always passive

Myth 1: Thinking that respect is a trade-off

Since kindergarten, teachers have been saying to children: "If you want to be respected by others, you must first respect others." This view is not wrong in the school days, but it seems that it does not apply to the society.

For example, ordinary employees will naturally respect the boss, but the boss may not even be able to name many people. Therefore, when entering the society and entering the workplace, the rules have changed. Respect is earned, not traded, most of the time.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

Misunderstanding 2: I don't know how to refuse, anyone who makes a request will go to the bottomless satisfaction

Being kind to others and helping others are excellent qualities, but in the workplace many times, I passively accept the demands of others, because I am embarrassed, afraid that rejection will lead to embarrassment, and I am afraid that rejection will affect the relationship, resulting in myself being busy all the time and unable to concentrate Do your own thing.

At first, it was just helping, but gradually, I don’t know when, it seems that it has become my own job, but my work is backlogged, resulting in mediocre performance, but the people who are helped can focus on doing their own things because they reduce some trivial matters.

For example: Colleagues in the sales department have always asked themselves to help draft contracts, never refused, and helped everyone, but after performance appraisal, only they failed to complete the task.

Myth 3: Do what you think is right, but ignore goals and rules

What they think is right is not necessarily right. Some people often ignore the rules and order of things in the workplace, do what they think is right, and make others "pay" for it. Sometimes they are just kind, but they do it. Bad things, let yourself always fall into passive.

Everyone has their own way of doing things, as well as their own principles, and they always remind each other to do things in their own way. There are basic rules in the workplace. If you violate the basic rules, not only will you not have a good impression of yourself, but even become disgusted with yourself.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

The reasons for the formation of three misunderstandings

Misconceptions lead to wrong behavior

Formed under people's dominant values: avoid embarrassment and stay sane, leading to wrong behavior. In some special occasions, people always avoid embarrassment and mistakenly think that this is respect; they always think that staying rational and hiding their emotions is respecting others.

Under this dominant value, the resulting behavior is prone to errors, not only not getting the respect you hope, but also causing yourself to be very passive.

A. Avoid embarrassing behavioral mistakes.

Many people think that avoiding embarrassment for the other party is respect. Avoiding embarrassment is not wrong, but it will lead to adverse consequences in certain situations regardless of the occasion.

For example, when negotiating with a client, a leader or a colleague has a problem with business etiquette. In order to avoid embarrassment, he doesn't mention it. The colleague will think that it is deliberately not reminding himself, and the leader may directly say, why not remind me? Why didn't you say it earlier, in fact, out of respect and to avoid embarrassing attitudes, you have caused your own behavioral mistakes.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

B. Stay sane and let others think you have no personality.

There's nothing wrong with being sane, but it's important to know what to be sane about. Sometimes people are too rational to tolerate, so that others ignore their own ideas, resulting in themselves being ignored in the end.

For example: in the face of honor, everyone is fighting for it, and I am qualified enough, but because I am too rational, others also pay a lot. I still have the opportunity to give up the honor in the future. When competing for employment and promotion, these honors become The key factor is that you miss opportunities, and the workplace is Vanity Fair. When you give up honor, you also give up the benefits that you should get, and respect will flow away.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

"Grow other people's fields, and leave your own land uncultivated"

Most of the interactions between people in the workplace are value exchanges. The higher the value in exchange, the more respected it will be. When helping others do things they don't want to do, these helping things are basically of low value. In the end, it became "planting other people's fields, leaving my own land uncultivated."

A. Enthusiastic about helping others after completing their own work.

Enterprises do not support idlers. Everyone has their own jobs. Even in the same department, the work content will be different. When you have not finished your own job and done it well, go to help. At the same time, when the work of others is completed and the content of your own job is backlogged, when others are praised and appreciated, at most, say thank you. help, but the result is that he did not do the work he should have done.

B. Fear of refusing other people's requests and affecting a good relationship.

Many people have such a situation, they are afraid of rejecting others and affecting the relationship between two people, and they do not know how to reject others. In fact, this is not necessary in the workplace. You must help others on the premise of completing your own things and confirming that you are doing well.

Just imagine, when a colleague asks for help from the leader, the leader rejects the colleague's request. Will this offend the colleague? The answer is no. Some people will say, that's the leader, I'm just an ordinary employee, in fact, the same reason, if you have enough existence value, even if you refuse, you won't offend your colleagues because of it, and it won't affect your good relationship.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

C. Inner self-confidence, find your own sense of worth by helping others.

Some people are not confident in their hearts. They want to be noticed and want to be valued by others, so they always try their best to help others. Even if things are beyond their ability, they must do their best, just like the lines in a sketch once. : "You have something to say". I ended up messing up my life.

There are many people who help others to brush up their sense of existence and find their own value, but in fact, they have been doing it all the time but have not received the respect and attention they deserve. Respect and attention can be achieved by helping others, but the more you do things beyond your ability, the deeper you will sink yourself, and eventually lead to contempt by others.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

Can't distinguish the objective situation, do what you think is right

There are some people in the workplace who always think that the original intention is correct and that what they do must be correct, but they ignore the needs of the objective situation, which leads to their doing a lot of things, but they are not respected and praised. I am very aggrieved, this is the so-called "selling a good horse for the price of a donkey."

A. Doing the right thing conflicts with the whole.

Doing the right things in some cases conflicts with the overall interests, and doing those so-called right things at this time is very inappropriate.

Just like solving the cost for the company is not wrong, but due to the urgency of time, the blind pursuit of cost saving has caused time delays, resulting in the completion of the work, but the time is delayed, or the delivered things are shoddy, and ultimately the leaders are not satisfied , The subordinates thought that the leader made a deliberate arrangement, and as a result, they did the right thing and did not get the reward they deserved.

For example: there are only 3 days before the spring tea meeting, and I was not planning to hold this meeting, but in order to mobilize everyone's enthusiasm, the leaders decided to hold the spring tea meeting temporarily. Because of the blind pursuit of cost saving for the company, the result was poor venue, and the quality of fruit and dried fruit. Poor. In the end, the company spent money, the employees complained, and the leaders were dissatisfied, but he did the right thing and saved costs for the company, but the final result was that everyone was dissatisfied.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

B. Doing the right thing violates the ground rules.

Some people do the right thing, but ignore the basic rules. Warm-hearted people will always be misunderstood, and even forced to add things to themselves as unwarranted. "

In the workplace, people are not used to being over-zealous, and being over-zealous to help others or do what they think is right will be misunderstood by some people as having other purposes and other intentions, so at this time Doing these things and getting undue respect can misunderstand whether the purpose of their actions is pure or not.

For example: in an event of the company, in order to show the style of the department, I hope that the clothes will be uniform and more individual, which can better reflect the spiritual outlook of the department, so I use my spare time to count the size of my colleagues, and then go to the store. Negotiate the price, but due to the department's cost limit, each person can only pay some more money.

At this time, people don't talk about it, but they think in their hearts, is there any benefit in the middle of so-and-so? But no one knew that this enthusiastic colleague had paid back money. Although he didn't ask for thanks, he felt aggrieved by this kind of unwarranted thing, and he couldn't explain it to everyone, and the result of the explanation would change. "There is no silver 300 taels here."

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

How to get out of the misunderstanding and usher in a better self

Change the wrong idea to win respect and attention

A. Being respected and valued is the embodiment of value

Being respected and valued in the workplace is the embodiment of value. The greater the value of one's existence, the more respect and attention can be won, the more irreplaceable one is, the more respect and attention will follow. When stepping into a high position, respect and attention will go hand in hand when the aura of success is added.

Don't put an upper limit on yourself, keep moving forward, and when you look back, you will find that many people are looking up at you. Just like when you first joined the company, you won't get a lot of respect in any exchange; when you go to a high position, some people may not remember their names, but they will still be respected.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

B. Focus on your own business and take the initiative to help others overcome difficulties.

Focus on doing your own thing well, do your job well, do it finely, and do it meticulously. Only by doing your job well can you have the capital and qualifications to help others. Otherwise, even if you help others, you will be ridiculed. It's like helping others with their homework.

On the premise of doing your job well, take the initiative to help others, instead of passively doing low-value work that others are unwilling to do, just like pouring a glass of water for a colleague or helping a colleague overcome a technical difficulty, which is easier to win respect? The answer is obvious. The interaction between people in the workplace is often a value exchange, and value determines everything.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

C. Properly release their "little emotions".

The appropriate release of one's own "little emotions" is here, rather than the unlimited release of one's various emotions. Don't be afraid of embarrassment, and you don't need to be too rational. No one is a saint, and they all have their own temper.

Properly release your "little emotions", let others know that you don't like this, don't break through your bottom line without limit, pour a glass of water today, lift things tomorrow, and you don't know what will happen the day after tomorrow. Such endless chores will affect the pace of their own forward.

There is no need to fight for honor in the face of honor, but there is no need to give up one's own. Honor is a recognition of one's own ability, not a bargaining chip for exchange of respect. These honors and achievements are favorable conditions for promotion under the same conditions at critical times. When the aura of success is set on yourself, you will naturally gain more respect.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

Learning to refuse is a sign of maturity in the workplace

You must learn to refuse to do those meaningless and low-value things, not because you don’t want to help others, but because you have a lot of more important things to do. Only by doing those meaningful and high-value things can you win more respect and Pay attention to.

Bi Shumin said: "Rejection is as much a power as survival. If you learn to say no, you will make your life more comfortable."

A. Different reference objects have different values.

The same work has different values ​​in the eyes of different people, so different references will reflect different values. When you consider it from your own perspective, whether it is worthwhile to passively ask for help is to act on your own.

For example: the boss asked the sales manager to accompany important customers, but the atmosphere was not good with few people, so the sales manager asked you to accompany the entertainment. And you are just an employee of the technical department. For me, this matter is just saving a meal, and it has no meaning. Conversely, if you accompany a technical expert, the salesperson will also excuse it.

So rejection is actually a manifestation of value, because there are more important things waiting for you to do, rather than doing those low-value things by doing nothing, which does not help you except to consume your own energy.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

B. The timing is different, and the value is also different

Let's make a simple assumption: Suppose that in the office, a colleague asks you to buy a bottle of water. It doesn't make any sense at all, because it's just an easy task to do. . And when this colleague is very thirsty in the desert, and you hand over a bottle of water, the value is completely different.

Therefore, the same thing has different importance at different times. It is necessary to help others at the right time, instead of meeting the requirements of others at any time, and learn to say: no at the wrong time!

Low-value help in the workplace is a complete waste of your time, so it is important to choose the right time to help others.

C. The value of active help is different from passive help

Taking the initiative to help others to do things that are difficult for them to overcome is a manifestation of value and a display of ability. It can improve oneself in the process and help others, so it will naturally win respect and attention.

For passively satisfying things that colleagues disdain to do, everyone wants to show their sense of presence in the workplace, and when those low-value things that they disdain to do are put on themselves, it is only a thank you to do well to win, Do not do well in exchange for complaining.

Therefore, it is necessary to refuse to passively satisfy the other party to do low-value things and disdain to do things.

Chaplin: "Learn to say no, and your life will be better."

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

Do what's right, not what's right

The workplace situation is very complicated. Do what you need to do, not what you want to do. Thinking that what is right is not necessarily right when it is not appropriate; doing things with good intentions may violate the basic rules and let yourself contribute Not flattering.

A. To do the right thing should take into account the overall situation and the right time.

Many things are done at the right time and at the right opportunity to get twice the result with half the effort. The same thing cannot be done right at all times. There may be nothing wrong with the matter itself, but due to the wrong timing, it seems very abrupt when it is done.

It is easy to understand with two examples:

①It is true to save costs for the company, but in order to save costs, the employees who engage in it think that the boss has instructed you to do this, and the company has spent money, but it leaves the impression that the boss is stingy. What is the final result? Your boss will definitely think that you are incompetent. The overall situation is to satisfy everyone, and the ability is to use the existing resources to satisfy everyone as much as possible, rather than blindly saving costs, saving a small amount of money and not doing things that are embarrassing.

②The immediate boss has just been scolded by the boss. When you just returned to the office, you suggested the same thing as your boss. What will happen at this time? You don't have to think about it, your boss won't listen to you and will even kick you out of the office. A good piece of advice just ran aground, just not timing.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

B. Do the right thing by respecting the ground rules.

To do the right thing, you must respect the basic rules. People are all profit-seeking, and they are too enthusiastic to do one thing. The things they do are right, but you must know what you have gained? Rather than simply answering, I think this is the right answer. It’s true that things are right, and it’s also right not to ask for anything in return, but it will create resentment from colleagues.

It is necessary to admit that there are differences between people, and don't think that what is right must be right with your own values. Sometimes it will touch the interests of others, and sometimes it will be misunderstood by others.

For example, there is a law in the state of Lu. If the people of the state of Lu see their compatriots suffering misfortune and become slaves in foreign countries, as long as these people can be redeemed to help them restore their freedom, they can get compensation and rewards from the state. Zigong, a student of Confucius, redeemed the people of Lu from foreign countries, but refused compensation from the state. Confucius said: "Ci (Duanmuci, Zigong), you are wrong! Receiving compensation from the state will not damage your character; but if you do not receive compensation, there will be no one in Lu to redeem your victims. compatriots."

Another example: Zilu rescued a drowning man, the man thanked him for sending a cow, and Zilu accepted it. Confucius said happily: "From now on, the people of Lu will have the courage to save those who fall into the water."

This is the basic rule of the workplace. If you do the right thing without asking for anything in return, the thing itself is right, but because of this, it will discourage some people. The boss may not be happy, let alone colleagues, who may even think that it is actually true. The benefits have been received privately, etc., so it's important to respect the ground rules.

You have been working very hard at work, why is it not respected and valued? Because I don't know these three things

To sum up: in the workplace, you should respect the basic rules, and do more valuable things to improve your own value, instead of blindly doing what others disdain to do, and you are entangled in these trivial things, which eventually lead to doing a lot , but not respected and valued, but let themselves be passive everywhere.