'It's a habit for colleagues to rub the car, and they can't get rid of it': No matter how good the relationship is, don't take convenience as casual
"Where are you? It's going to be late."
"The car was smashed, and it's still being processed. You can take a taxi and go."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier, it made me stand in the rain for a long time, really..."
Da Qiang didn't say anything, just hung up the phone.
Since last year, taking Xiaona home to and from get off work seems to have become a natural task for me.
Xiaona has also become a habit to rub the car. At first, she even said she would give some gas money, and she often said thank you, but as time passed, even the courtesy was saved.
After Daqiang bought a car last year, an eldest sister in the company joked: "We happened to be on the road together, it would be great for Daqiang to take Xiaona with him, and it would save her from crowding the bus every day." Xiaona echoed: "That's great. , I didn't expect it, Qiangzi, just do it."
Daqiang is responding to the company's welfare. After buying a car, the company reimburses 1,000 yuan a month for car supplements, but he never thought about taking Xiaona to and from get off work. Hearing the two of them, it seems unbelievable, but he didn't take it to his heart and said casually. I agreed.
"It's a habit for colleagues to rub the car, and they can't get rid of it": No matter how good the relationship is, don't take convenience as casual
At the beginning, Xiaona said many times that she would give Daqiang some fuel money every month, but Daqiang politely said that the company has reimbursement, but it is not needed.
As a result, Xiaona didn't know if she took it seriously or forgot about it, and never mentioned it again.
At the beginning, Da Qiang felt that it didn't matter what happened along the way, and his wife also said that they were colleagues, as long as they didn't make a fool of themselves, they didn't care. But when Xiaona got used to it, she had to take her to and from get off work every day, which became a psychological burden for Daqiang, and he had to think about it every day. Once you have something to do without driving, or if you can't pick her up, you have to report to her in advance.
It was raining that morning and the road was slippery. Daqiang accidentally rear-ended someone else's car, so he got down and dealt with it. The already irritable mood, coupled with Xiaona's complaints on the phone, made Da Qiang want to get angry at the time, but he still held back and hung up directly. He didn't want to get embarrassed by everyone in the office because of this kind of thing.
In fact, no matter how good the interpersonal relationship in the workplace is, don’t take the convenience given by others as something you can use casually.
On the other hand, honest people in the workplace often do not know how to refuse when they encounter colleagues who love to take advantage of others and do not know how to stop, which leads to the embarrassing situation of compromising. Therefore, learning to reject others is also a necessary skill for workplace survival.
"It's a habit for colleagues to rub the car, and they can't get rid of it": No matter how good the relationship is, don't take convenience as casual
- To reject others, you must first be firm in yourself.
People with "rejection difficulties" usually think that it is difficult to say no because of face problems. However, some requests you will definitely refuse. For example, if a colleague lends you 500,000 yuan to buy a car, you will definitely not give it to him. Why would you firmly refuse at this time? Because the amount is too large, it will affect your quality of life, even if you don't have that much money at all.
What if a colleague lends you 1,000 yuan? Is it difficult for you to firmly refuse?
So, it's not that you won't refuse, but when the price you need to pay for the content of asking for help is too high, you will make yourself firm. If you ask for help at a small price, but there is a risk that it will add up, why not let yourself refuse it from the start?
Only when you are firm in your heart and realize the disadvantages of not knowing rejection from the very beginning can you make your life more comfortable, instead of complimenting others but wronging yourself.
"It's a habit for colleagues to rub the car, and they can't get rid of it": No matter how good the relationship is, don't take convenience as casual
- Make good use of skills to make rejection more advanced.
To refuse others' help does not mean to say no bluntly without any principle, to do what you can without delaying your own work and life for help, but to actively do it, after all, no one in the workplace is inseparable from interpersonal communication. When encountering a problem that must be rejected, you can try to reject it skillfully to avoid damaging the harmony of your relationship.
Refuse with irresistible reasons.
"I just bought a house, and my family is poor and poor. Let alone lending you 1,000 yuan, I'm still waiting for my salary to buy rice and cook."
"You know, my wife is strict, and when I don't have more than 300 yuan on me, should I give you 100 yuan first?"
The more rational the reason for rejecting others, the more calm the rejection. Moreover, rejecting others through reasons, on the one hand, tells the other party that you don't want to help, but just can't help; on the other hand, you can also let the other party understand you through your reasons and avoid hurting each other's friendship.
"It's a habit for colleagues to rub the car, and they can't get rid of it": No matter how good the relationship is, don't take convenience as casual
Straightforward rejection with self-feeling.
It is difficult for us to find a high-sounding reason to refuse some requests for help, so is it impossible to refuse?
For example, if a colleague wants to borrow your off-road vehicle to go to the mountains, you are usually reluctant to take a worse road, and you are definitely not willing to lend him to go wild in the mountains. At this time, you can tell him your inner feelings: I feel bad for the car, so I won't borrow it!
This kind of straightforward rejection may seem a little inhuman on the surface, but in fact, your subconscious is doing the trick, thinking that rejecting someone will cause harm to the other party. However, you need to know that when someone asks you for help, he should be prepared to be rejected instead of holding others accountable for his needs. Your outright rejection seems more sincere.
"It's a habit for colleagues to rub the car, and they can't get rid of it": No matter how good the relationship is, don't take convenience as casual
Refuse with a counter-request.
There is also a more advanced method of refusal, which often makes the person who asks for help to retreat, and even no longer ask for it at will.
For example, a friend who is a Wechat businessman tries to sell products by chatting with you over and over again. Although the money is not much, he really doesn’t want to waste money when he sees things that are not practical. At this time, you can respond to him by asking back, "The things are good, but I want to buy a car recently. Do you think I have enough money? Lend me tens of thousands of dollars to turn it around."
When you kick the question back to him, most people will understand what you mean. Even if there are still people who don't understand the size and make further requests, you can just hold on to the request without changing the subject, and he will definitely retreat.