Introduction: According to my experience in career counseling, on the one hand, the proportion of female graduate students in various majors is much higher than that of male students, that is, female students are more willing to graduate school, such as food engineering, software, communication and other engineering majors, and female graduate students. more than undergraduates. However, on the other hand, girls who go to graduate school often face more "costs" than boys, such as age, such as your popularity in the marriage and childbirth market - but is this the real situation, or is it an alarmist?

The movie "Wind and Rain Harvard Road"

One day I checked an industry profile on the Internet, and saw a push on the timeline, "Does a girl's postgraduate study ruin her life?" When I saw this question, I was a little bit angry, and I thought about what I had taught myself. Teacher, female master, female doctor (especially for teaching positions in universities, in better universities, the doctorate is basically the starting price, no teacher who teaches us is not a doctor...), think about your own studies again Sister, the female classmates of Shangyan, all of them look bright and beautiful, but they are all people who have been "destroyed for life", this world is terrible...

Well, let's not talk about this kind of ridicule, let's get down to business, this kind of remarks still point to a problem: the conflict and tension between girls' self-development and their marriage and love plans. These remarks look like this:

"Why do girls read so many books? What's the use?"

"I'll be 30 after my graduate school and my doctorate! It's better to get married and have children earlier!"

"It's better for girls to study well than to marry, really! Look at the female doctors and masters...you won't be able to get married after reading."

Don't be angry, and don't doubt yourself. When encountering such remarks, the best way to analyze it is to follow the other party's train of thought, follow the thought to the end, and see what it is.

"Why do girls read so many books? What's the use?"

After a master's degree, you can learn more in-depth knowledge, see more of the world, find a better job, get a higher starting salary, and meet more and better people. What's the use of it? (Of course, this is just an overview, specific to different colleges and majors, the differences between masters and undergraduates are different, and some even undergraduates are more popular, but this is not the topic we are discussing today, you can write it another day ).

"I'll be 25 after graduate school! It's better to get married and have children earlier!"

It is said that it is difficult to find a partner when studying for a master's degree. I don't know that there is a website called "Shuobo Dating Network" (not advertising). People play behind closed doors and find partners in the circle. Is this the so-called "difficult to find partners"?

If it is good to get married and have children early, then let’s think a little more deeply. What resources can you give him/her when giving birth to a child? With your education level, can you teach him/her to speak English? How much can you spend if your child needs remedial classes? It is said that don’t let children lose at the starting line. The intergenerational transfer of knowledge is also a commonplace in the field of sociology and education. What can you give your child? You can give love, but the same parents as you, who can't?

Furthermore, we have to think that the only person we can always rely on in life is ourselves. Parents will leave, acquaintances will be scattered, children will leave home, and it is hard to say that your spouse can accompany you all your life. Only you will accompany you to the last moment of your life. You have to rely on your own ability to learn to stand in the society.

As for your education, being young is a stepping stone for you to find a job, and being old is part of your personal brand. To a certain extent, it determines where and how one third of your life (working time) is spent. Yes, but to be honest, the influence of your spouse on your work is not that big. Your boyfriend/husband may not be able to help you with introversion, give you career advice, and help you improve your ability. Spousal time spent together is still too little compared to work.

Of course, I understand that there are many girls in the society who "marry into a wealthy family" and cross the class of beauty and prosperity, and then "marry" will also be a diamond king. But to be honest, it costs (this has a price). The more prestigious the family, the more "practical" their marriage and love decisions tend to be - whether you can pass on the family for this family, can you play that kind of "first lady" well, handle complex family relationships, or can you go outside Behave well in front of people.

I have also seen the kind of wealthy businessmen who live with their eldest and youngest wives. The relationship between the two wives is self-evident. This is not a good way to go. Looking a little deeper, in fact, not to mention the wealthy, just ordinary office workers, there are not many people who can give you a salary card, and it is not very reliable to find an eternal sense of security in the other party.

To sum up, doubts and attacks on women's pursuit of higher education are concentrated on the point that "personal development will affect marriage and love".

Therefore, the suspicion of this advanced education is the following two kinds of gender discrimination rooted in society.

First, the purpose of marriage and love in China is still narrow and anxious.

Marriage is for reproduction, and a woman needs to marry before the best reproductive age, such as 28. Then the so-called "too old", its complete words are "you are too old to get married, you may miss the best chance of fertility". Therefore, in the dictionary, the "leftover girl" is defined as 28 years old. Under this understanding, a woman at her best age, between the ages of 20 and 30, is faced with a torn between childbirth or her own learning and growth.

Second, the role of women in life is to reproduce or be responsible for themselves.

The dialogue in "A Doll's House" reveals the essence. When Nora found herself fooled by her husband to be incompetent, and decided to run away, the conversation between her and her husband is as follows.

Husband: This is ridiculous! You just leave your most sacred responsibility behind?

Nora: What do you say is my most sacred duty?

Husband: Then why should I say it? Your most sacred duty is your duty to your husband and children.

Nora: I have other equally sacred responsibilities.

Husband: Nothing! What responsibility are you talking about?

Nora: I'm talking about my responsibility to myself.

Husband: Needless to say, first of all you are a wife and a mother.

Nora: I don't believe these words anymore. Now I just believe that, first of all, I am a person, just like you - at least I have to learn to be a person.

Although the drama is shown with conflicting plots, behind the drama is indeed the efforts of every woman to face her own destiny.

Drama Doll's House

Finally, what is the truth?

The first truth is: the rate of return for girls to graduate school is higher than that of boys.

The data shows that for every additional year of reading, the average salary of women can increase by 5.1%. Education was the only trait that helped women narrow the pay gap. According to data from the BOSS Direct Employment Research Institute, in 2019, the coefficient of return to education for women in the Chinese workplace was 0.051. For each additional year of education for women, the average salary can increase by 5.1%, which is 0.5% higher than that of men. Part of the reason is that low-educated men can still engage in engineering manufacturing, mining and smelting, and other low-educated and relatively high-paying jobs, while the employment scope of low-educated women is mainly limited to the life service industry, and the employment scope is much narrower than that of men.

According to data from the BOSS Direct Employment Research Institute, in 2019, women with a master’s degree or above were 1.7 times more likely to be invited for corporate interviews than women with a bachelor’s degree or below, which proves that education can bring women’s workplace competitiveness. qualitative changes.

The movie "Wind and Rain Harvard Road"

The second truth is: the marriage and love market is not as monolithic as we think.

When we lack understanding of a thing, we will regard it as a monolith, and when we really study it, you will find that even the so-called marriage and love market has great internal differences. Some people are very concerned about the economic success of marriage and love, and the two families must be evenly matched; while others are very concerned about cultural capital - many people admit that they want to find boyfriends and girlfriends from 985/211 and even overseas famous schools; It's very high... Just go to Douban and other websites and read a few more friend postings, I believe you will better understand the point of "radish and cabbage, each has its own love".

So, on the whole, I encourage women to improve their education. In short, whether you decide to go to school, or put down your studies and go straight to work, girls, be responsible for yourself, don't follow the trend or follow the crowd.