'The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree': Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
The classmate Xiaohong (pseudonym) I tutored, worked in quality inspection in a chemical factory, and has been employed for a year. The work is excellent, and the leadership appreciates it. She has successfully gone through the adaptation period from campus to workplace. However, she encountered new troubles again - the leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree?
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
Isn't this a good opportunity?
Don't they all say that the workplace discriminates against girls and that girls are not easily promoted? Why have opportunities, but become troubles? I can't help but feel a little weird. So, I carefully asked the whole story. The conversation was a bit long, so I must read it patiently. Many friends are troubled by the same question—
Xiaohong said: "Sister, you don't know, I'm really in trouble: First, the leaders don't really pay attention to quality inspection. The heads of production are all men, and the quality is not good, so it is difficult to communicate. If there is any problem in the future, it will not be solved." Find me? Second, the other two people in the department are older than me, so they are definitely not easy to manage.
I said: This is quite a challenge. However, since the leader has promoted you, you can chat with him about the company's quality inspection work and see if there is any support. If these difficulties can be overcome, it will also be your growth.
"But being such a supervisor, I only get a salary increase of 500 yuan a month, but things have increased a lot," Xiaohong said. "Even if I can overcome the difficulties, I don't think it's worth it!"
I said: You don’t understand this. As a quality inspector, your salary is already the highest in this category; after being promoted to supervisor, although it only increased by 500 yuan, it is the lowest in the supervisor level. With a new ceiling, there is still room for a new salary increase; and when you change jobs in the future, your resume will look good.
Xiaohong: It's not that I don't know what you said, but to be honest, I'm really afraid of being an official and managing people! Moreover, other colleagues in the department are relatively older, and I think they will be pushed out after being promoted.
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
I feel so stressed~
"Worry about the challenge - not worth it - even if there is a benefit, worry about the pressure", this is back again! Coincidentally, after April, two girls came to ask me the same question in a row: the leader talked to me and said that they wanted to promote me, but I was not ready, what should I do?
On the one hand, I am worried that going to a management position will be too many and difficult to do; on the other hand, I feel that the opportunity is rare, and I am afraid of missing it, which is very tangled. Seeing this, will impatient friends want to say: It is really troublesome to promote girls!
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
Now I, after starting a business, claiming to be a big boss, gives the impression that I am a career-oriented woman. But 10 years ago, I was so afraid of my first promotion.
At that time, I presided over a project in Gansu for two years, and the results were good. Therefore, the Beijing headquarters asked me to be in charge of the management of the southwest area. However, the five colleagues in the southwest area are all older and more experienced than me, and I am not familiar with the projects in the southwest at all.
So, I was nervous. Before accepting the promotion, I wrote a long letter to my university teacher. Not only did I list my worries in detail, but I also asked the teacher, "After the promotion, it will be more difficult for me to find a partner. ?".
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
We all know that the proportion of female executives is very low - only 18% of female executives in various fields (Data Zhaopin "2019 China Women's Workplace Survival Report"); but there is another data that needs to be paid more attention - in CEOs In front of general manager-level positions, there are only 10% of female applicants ("2019 China Workplace Gender Gap Report" by data boss).
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
The proportion of women in senior management is low, and the number of applicants is also low.
After reading these cases and data, you can't help but ask: what are girls afraid of when they face the opportunity of promotion?
The most accurate answer to this is that women are more likely to fear success than men. It's not that I'm just talking nonsense, as early as the last century, American psychologist Dr. Martina Horner conducted research and revealed that 65% of women are generally afraid of the outcome of success, while only 9% of men %.
This different psychological state of success still exists today. For men, it is a natural and self-motivated good thing to work hard for a career, but it is much more complicated for women. Why?
First, career success always inexplicably means a decline in femininity.
The gossip blogger Luo Beibei once ridiculed that boys and girls would be urged to marry by their families. And if the boy already has a house and a car in the city, then the family is urging marriage, but he is relieved a lot. After all, if the conditions are good, some people can choose; and if it is a girl at home who has a house and a car in the city, then But it's more trouble.
I have tutored a lot of girls myself, and after getting the offer from JD.com and Huawei, I asked me with a worried look: If I join this kind of company, it will affect my marriage and family in the future... (Okay, I I've had this concern before)
"Better girls have a lower charm value", this divine logic is that magic exists. Therefore, in the face of career opportunities, many girls will worry that they will become a bad three-in-one (not a good wife/daughter/mother), even if she does not have a male ticket now.
Second, girls are more inclined to worry about their poor performance, fear of making others dissatisfied, and thus dislike themselves.
"Girls are better-behaved and more down-to-earth than boys", this is recognized by most people, whether at home or in the workplace, but it also implies that girls are afraid of taking risks and the other side of failure.
Why are girls more likely than boys to worry about not doing well? Because since childhood, girls are subject to more standards and evaluations. For example, if you speak impolitely, you run wild, and you shout, you will be stopped immediately, saying: "You are so crazy, you look like a girl. nothing?!".
"Be good and look like a girl", is it important to girls? Of course, in all kinds of fairy tales, demure and gentle girls are loved by many people, and popularity and love are almost the only criteria for a woman to become a winner in life. After years of training, girls will subconsciously desire to be liked by everyone, so they can't go wrong.
In the workplace, this sense of heavy burden, like a conditioned reflex, suppresses our desire for management positions.
However, when it comes to this, is it okay to suggest that "women be brave and show off"? For example, the book "One Step Forward" is to encourage female friends to take a step forward bravely and take the initiative to strive for what they want. This is of course a very good encouragement, and it can be sold so well, which also explains the encouragement.
However, the situation is more complicated. In the face of gender differences, is it enough as long as "women are confident and brave"? It's not that simple, and it's putting the blame on women.
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
Who wouldn't know how to be brave? Is it true that girls can change smoothly because of the encouragement of this kind of fore-arm shouting?
Hannah Riley Bowles, a senior lecturer in public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School, has been researching women's leadership and self-confidence for years. She said: After comparing the level of assertiveness of men and women, many studies stop and say, well, women need to be confident and brave. Such advice is very irresponsible!
In actual work, I also found that many working women subconsciously know that self-confidence is the key to career success; however, after starting work, they will understand that self-confidence is not enough.
Hannah analyzed data from tech companies around the world and found that the results of men's and women's self-confidence were different:
"In our sample, male engineers had more influence in the organization if they were more assertive," the researchers concluded, "while women were only able to display high prosocial tendencies. Societal expectations, but with no apparent benefit to the actors themselves) or altruistic behavior, can they turn confidence into influence.”
In other words, women must walk a tightrope, finding a delicate balance between confidence and modesty, publicity and restraint. Overconfident, they may face the "backlash effect"—social and professional setbacks caused by not conforming to society's cognitive norms about gender.
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
Said so much, of course, not to attack everyone, but we must see that girls bear more pressure when faced with opportunities. This is not just a few words of cheer. Being in it, we need to have a deeper understanding of the world!
As individuals, our own career development, of course, cannot be hoped for changes in the external environment. From the inside to the outside, understanding the real world we face will lead to a more objective understanding of why when you encounter an opportunity, your first reaction will be to escape. It's no shame or impossible to change, here are my specific recommendations:
First, "why the leader is willing to promote me", carefully evaluate your competence.
Any normal operating company is very cautious about the appointment and dismissal of personnel. Since the leader wants to promote you, it means that you are competent in the evaluation of the company and the leader. Don't worry, take a serious look at your competence.
For example, a girl in sales, she was not only the sales champion in the first 3 quarters, but also completed the task of the current quarter just halfway through the last quarter, far surpassing other colleagues. This continued lead is not just accidental, what did you do right? How do you evaluate their willingness to buy in terms of finding customers, how to impress the other party when communicating with customers, what experience do you have in customer retention, etc., summarizing these real abilities or experience, you are truly confident emboldened.
Second, "what if you fail?" Facing the worst assumptions will make you more courageous.
"Fear of failure, fear of not being liked" is the most frightening thing in the imagination stage, so let's just seriously consider what is the worst outcome if we fail? For example, the leader finds that he has no such ability, colleagues feel that they are not as good as they imagined, and they know that they are really inexperienced now. What can I do? Not to be beheaded! The biggest problem is to resign and change a job, what can I do? Actually not so. When you find that it's okay to fail, it's easier to pack lightly and succeed more easily.
Third, "I'm still a little nervous", find people who support you and keep them around.
I mentioned earlier that I was apprehensive after being promoted to the manager of the southwest area, and wrote a rather unpromising letter to the university teacher. My teacher answered me this way:
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
The teacher's reply gave me great encouragement. I face up to my desire and professionalism for this promotion and accept this challenge.
To this day, I keep the letter and keep in touch with our university teachers. Therefore, I also advise you to believe that this world is very big, and there are always some people who insist on independent thinking and gentle disposition. Find them and ask them for help.
"The leader asked me to be promoted to supervisor, should I agree": Why are girls more likely to think this is a problem?
【end】
Because I am a girl, and I specialize in career counseling for girls, I know that girls face different dilemmas than boys in terms of career growth (it doesn’t mean that boys have no difficulties, or that the difficulties will be less); however, I believe more : It won't last forever, and it's not unbreakable! Let's take a look from afar. More than 100 years ago, women could not go out to work. What a great achievement we have achieved now!
So, you can certainly understand and accept the first reaction you want to avoid when a leader is about to give you a promotion, but don't be intimidated by it! You can find confidence in yourself, encourage yourself to be brave, and find supportive people to accompany you to become stronger. When you walk through this "hump" and look back, you will find that it is just a small dirt slope.