There are all kinds of fish in the sea, and now there are two kinds of people who appear frequently in the workplace.

① Gang Jing is characterized by no brains, and his hobby is finding faults.

Will you go to the construction site with me tomorrow? I see that you're quite a jerk.

②Spoilers, looking at things one-sidedly and spitting "fragrance".

Shall we go eat fish tomorrow? I think you're quite picky.

In pursuit of a strong sense of existence, in order to show his "three correct views and noble morals", he does not hesitate to hurt others. Thinking that he had the upper hand for a while, in fact, he had already planted the root cause of trouble in the workplace and was labeled as "low emotional intelligence".

Low emotional intelligence due to lack of empathy

A lack of perception

They cannot or do not want to perceive the emotions of others and cannot judge the mental state of others.

For example, a singer who loves to sing lost his voice due to illness, so he cheered up and greeted fans with a smile.

Normal reaction:

【Really a strong singer, brave to face setbacks】

[I feel sorry for him that he can't continue to sing in the future, I'm really sorry for him]

[A meteor in the music world is silent now]

Unsentimental responses:

【Is it really that serious? You can still smile and say hello, are you pretending to be sick?]

[It must be hype, a wave of sympathy and enthusiasm]

[I have seen him dislike for a long time, XXX get out of the entertainment circle]

The lack of understanding

Inability to understand the emotional expressions and fluctuations of others in order to empathize.

When we read a sad plot in a novel or see a sad plot in a movie, we can’t help but resonate with the characters in the book or play, and are emotionally close to each other.

Especially in an environment like a movie theater, the empathy is even stronger.

When the good guy is being chased and killed, we can't help but grit our teeth and tighten our muscles. Seeing the bad guy's complacent pride, a heavenly righteousness rushes straight to the forehead.

And the lack of understanding can be very good at stripping themselves out.

Don't be happy with "books", don't be sad with "drama".

So the question "Why did you suddenly cry/laugh when you were fine".

What is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to think from the other person's perspective, which can be improved through exercise. People with strong empathy can make people feel "happy to cooperate" and become popular.

"The Legend of Zhen Huan" has such a plot:

Yongzheng was busy with government affairs and did not enter the harem for many days. Xu Jinliang, the eunuch of the Jingshi Room, was worried that he would be scolded by the queen mother.

As the general manager, Su Peisheng is very empathetic, and he is very measured when he is in a high position.

After Su Peisheng came, Xu Liang was very grateful after only two sentences.

And Xu Jinliang is also grateful:

In interpersonal interactions, empathy means putting yourself in the shoes of others, which not only reduces the cost of communication, but also acts as a lubricant in the relationship. However, you probably only think of the term empathy in "people to people" interactions, and is a quality of being a "good person."

But empathy is more than that. It plays an important role in your communication with others, in your workplace relationships, and even in your social interactions.

Even if the workplace is like a battlefield, we prefer ally relationships over adversarial relationships, and it is easier to form alliances with others by accepting and understanding other people's ideas and positions, thereby building good relationships.

When your boss and coworkers get up on the table because of different opinions, it means that they are eager to be understood and recognized. The only thing that can ease the deadlock is calmness and empathy, and think about the optimal solution to the situation.

From the perspective of the other party, re-examine the starting point and the deviation of the result, express respect and the result after comprehensive thinking. Some affirmations are given in content, and common positions are expressed emotionally. This has positive implications for self-improvement, and more importantly, you earn their trust with understanding.

How to develop empathy?

Whether in a panel discussion interview or in actual teamwork, people who lack empathy tend to domineeringly, arbitrarily impose their opinions on others or isolate themselves;

An empathetic professional will put his own opinions aside first, listen carefully to the ideas of others, and finally complete the integration of the team.

Enterprises will pay more attention to employees who can become fusion agents in the team to ensure the stability within the company. Therefore, turning into a workplace fusion agent will make your popularity soar.

Try to understand the relationship between people, assuming you are the other party, from the perspective of interests, how can you meet the needs of the other party?

As a manager, imagine how I am managed, what kind of management regulations do I want to accept?

As a developer, imagine that I am the person in charge. What kind of products do I hope will stand out?

As a seller, imagine that I am a customer, what kind of products do I want to buy and what kind of services do I get?

When you sacrifice your comfort, sacrifice your time and energy, think and compromise. Relationships are fair and will reward you in other ways.

This is a choice, there are losses and gains, and you need to weigh and bear it yourself.

If you realize that you also have a lack of empathy, and sometimes you can't understand emotions accurately and make wrong judgments, then you may have also been a troll and a troll, and you have joined the list of being DISS.

However, in the workplace, the opinions of others cannot be avoided. Adjust in time, learn to cultivate empathy, and make yourself better and more adaptable to social life.

This is not only for the consideration of career development, but also for the optimization of attitude towards life.

Because life is short, we choose to face the world with love , understand the emotions of others, and respect the feelings of others.

Step 1: Stand on the other side's point of view

Assumption: As the manager, you are responsible for negotiating with the partner, and the exchange of views between the two parties is intense and does not allow each other. What would you say when you were eating at a table?

1. "Are you still worried?"

2. "Don't think so much about eating first"

3. "I would like to discuss the issue of... when I eat."

Empathy speaks:

1. "Your work attitude is really serious"

2. "I think you have paid a lot for this project"

3. "You made me believe that we will be very happy to work together in the future"

Step 2: Be able to listen to the other person attentively and make the other person feel respected

Hypothesis: You take your three-year-old child for an injection, and the child is crying. What would you say to him?

1. "You can't cry, it will disturb others"

2. "If you cry again, a big bad wolf will come to you"

3. "If you don't cry, I'll buy you a toy"

Empathy speaks:

1. "The injection hurts so you cried, didn't you?"

2. "I told the nurse sister to take it easy"

3. "Although the injection is good for the body, it's still a little scary, right?"

Step 3: Be able to correctly identify each other's emotions

Laughing, does it mean happiness or joy?

Or maybe it was a laugh and a wry smile?

Does crying convey sadness or sadness?

Or maybe ecstasy and relief?

We want to get into a person's heart, not to see what is shown, but what his real emotional needs are.

Hug when you are sad, encourage when you are lost, share when you are excited.

say what the listener wants to hear

listen to what readers have to say

Step 4: Be able to correctly interpret the meaning of the other person's words

Parents calling, is it to chat or ask for help?

Does the child describe things out of curiosity or desire?

Colleagues complain about work, is it helpless? Worry? Still asking for your opinion?

There are many smart people in the world, but success is not necessarily because of intelligence, but because of kindness.

It is the same reason that it is written in "Daily Progress": "The great cause of those who benefit the public will be successful". When you have "no selfishness, mindfulness and altruism", it is also the time to make friends with the world.

Kindness is a choice and a power. Kindness is to hold up others and be held up by others. In benign interpersonal communication, it is getting higher and higher.