It is a very normal thing for children to make mistakes in their growth. Qualified parents can always help children correct them in time and find their true self in the mistakes. However, some parents will tremble every time their children make mistakes, creating great psychological pressure, thinking that making mistakes is a big thing. In fact, this is a very representative and common phenomenon, which happens to many parents. Let's take a look at how to deal with the wrong behavior of children.

Mr. Li is a person who is very demanding of himself. He is a little perfectionist in doing things and cannot tolerate his own mistakes. Therefore, whether at work or in life, due to his excellent performance, he has been widely recognized by the people around him. After he got married and had children, Mr. Li also had high standards and strict requirements for his three-year-old son. Can not accept that the child has any mistakes, otherwise it will be regarded as a failure of their own education.

Last weekend, while helping his son learn ancient poems, Mr. Li asked his son to recite a famous Tang Dynasty poem. In Mr. Li's view, this is a very simple matter, and it should be easy to memorize quickly. But I didn't expect that my son's performance was very bad. After tossing for an afternoon, I didn't remember it. In just four ancient poems, there are many mistakes.

Mr. Li was very disappointed with his son's performance, and even began to doubt whether there was a problem with his teaching philosophy and teaching methods. The whole person fell into a huge anxiety. Those who refuse to admit defeat must let their children memorize this ancient poem completely on the same day. The three-year-old son could not understand his father's thoughts. Facing his father's persecution, he had to cry loudly to escape the strict education.

There are often parents who behave like Mr. Li in their lives. They cannot accept the little mistakes and deviations in the growth of their children. In fact, parents do not need to be anxious when children make mistakes. As long as children learn positive experiences from mistakes, sum up lessons and achieve "effective failure", mistakes will also have positive educational significance.

First, why are parents afraid that their children will make mistakes?

• 1. The psychology of wishing for a son to become a dragon.

Every parent hopes that their children will become talents, and want their children to have good academic performance and a bright future in the future, and hope that their children can become a person of noble character and good style. It is because of this kind of psychology that it is unacceptable for the child to make mistakes, thinking that once the child makes a mistake, he will get further and further away from this goal, so he will be more strict with the child.

• 2. I feel embarrassed.

There are also some parents who feel that their children's mistakes are problems with their own education, which is very embarrassing. Especially when comparing with other people's children, such as chats between best friends, or parent-teacher meetings. It is a shame to see other people's children perform well and their own children make mistakes, so they feel shameless.

• 3. Have no confidence in yourself.

There are also some parents who feel that they cannot educate outstanding children because they do not have confidence in themselves. Therefore, when it comes to educating children, they are walking on thin ice. Once children make mistakes, they will think that they have a problem.

Second, what should parents do to teach their children to "effectively fail"?

It is not terrible for children to make mistakes, and their growth is inseparable from the company of mistakes. What parents should do is to let their children learn to fail effectively, to make every mistake of their children meaningful, and to truly learn from them.

• 1. Improve children's right and wrong cognition.

Parents should first improve children's cognition of right and wrong, because children do not have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong, so parents should clearly tell children what is right and what is wrong. Help children correctly recognize mistakes and understand mistakes, so that children will not have fear and can face their own mistakes bravely.

• 2. Believe that you can correct yourself.

Parents should give their children confidence that they can correct their mistakes. If the child feels that mistakes are stronger than themselves, then there will be fear, and mistakes will become invalid mistakes. Only when children feel that they can correct themselves, that they can do it well, and that they will not make mistakes again, can mistakes become truly meaningful.

• 3. Guide children to think and summarize.

When a child makes a mistake, parents should not immediately tell the child where the mistake is and how to correct it, but guide the child to think and summarize by himself. Questions can be used to make children realize how to do it, gain true knowledge in thinking, understand lessons in summarization, and pay attention to avoidance and norms in future behaviors.

Third, what issues should parents pay attention to?

When children make mistakes, parents should also pay attention to the following 3 points, so as not to cause excessive psychological pressure on children. Avoid leaving a psychological shadow on your child.

• 1. Maintain emotional stability.

Parents should maintain emotional stability and not scold or yell at their children. If parents are emotionally out of control, then the child will feel that he has made an unforgivable mistake, so fear will prevail.

It is also possible to have a confrontational emotion because of the parents' out-of-control, and stand on the opposite side of the parents and deliberately make mistakes to express their dissatisfaction.

• 2. Do not apply too much pressure.

Parents should not put too much pressure on children when they make mistakes, so that children must correct immediately, or immediately realize the mistake. Instead, children should be left with a space for buffering and thinking, so that children can develop their subjective thoughts and truly think logically, so that they can essentially recognize mistakes. Too much pressure will only make children immersed in the regret of making mistakes, unable to extricate themselves.

• 3. Do not cover up and condone.

When children make mistakes, parents must not show cover or connivance, thinking that small mistakes are not worth mentioning. It should be noted that parental indulgence will make children go further and further on the road of making mistakes, and cannot correct their behavior in time. For young children, pampering is a more negative effect than beating and scolding.

Tagore once said, "If you shut out all wrong, then truth will shut you out too."

Parents should guide their children to correctly recognize mistakes, not to be afraid or to escape, people always grow up in mistakes. Facing mistakes calmly, teaching children to analyze and think through logical thinking, and summarizing experience and lessons from effective failures is an important lesson in children's growth.