> > What better way to allow children to be happy in their own way? --- > Cy Johnson >

Nowadays, the pressure of children's life is very high. Although many parents pay attention to their children's academic performance, they ignore their children's psychological development. This is why there have been more and more incidents of depression in children in recent years . Although there are these distressing cases, they have not caused the parents to think deeply. Many parents even think that their children should be tempered more so that they can become mature . Happy, who is responsible for them?

The child is unhappy every day, and finally cries and scolds the parents

Recently, a single mother, Xiao Chen, came to me to consult on her child's psychological problems. Through my understanding, I found that Xiao Chen's daughter was very depressed and had mild depression. Xiao Chen told me that since she divorced her husband, she has lived a miserable life with her daughter alone . I understand the hardships of a single mother with her daughter to make a living, but Xiao Chen makes me feel that she is not a qualified person. Mother.

Xiao Chen said that her daughter's depression was caused by her. During her daughter's growth, Xiao Chen often complained to her daughter about the hardships of life, which made the young children unable to bear the pressure , so she became more and more depressed, facing her mother. The grievances of her daughter can't change anything, she can only feel guilty, which is simply unbearable for a child. Finally, when Xiao Chen complained to his daughter one day, the daughter began to growl at Xiao Chen: Why do you always complain to me, it is because of you that I am like this now.

What negative energy do parents often pass on to their children?

Complaining about life with children

Living in this fast-paced society, many parents are under endless pressure. The pressure of working, buying a house, buying a car, etc. is forcing parents, but many parents complain to their children about these things. For children, these pressures from their parents are something they cannot understand. They can't change in the face of their parents' worries, so they will only have a sense of powerlessness, which will deeply affect the inner development of children .

indifference to children

Parents are very indifferent to their children due to their busy work. Many parents even think that as long as they give their children enough money, their growth needs can be met. But in fact, children would rather be loved by their parents than be ignored by their parents. Some parents will give their children to grandparents, which will only make the distance between the children and their parents further and further, which is not conducive to the development of children's mental health.

Children are not allowed to cry

Some parents are very strict with their children. They do not allow their children to make mistakes in life, and they cannot cry when their children make mistakes. This is a kind of emotional suppression for children. Children are very young and they need to cry to vent their emotions . If parents always prevent children from crying, it will make children feel depressed.

What are the effects of always passing negative energy to children?

Make the child's character flawed: If the child's growth process is full of negative energy, and this negative energy is brought to them by the parents, it will make the child feel insecure in the heart. Children see the family as a safe haven, and parents are the ones who give their children infinite love. Always accepting parental complaints will make some children sensitive and vulnerable inside. When unable to bear, the child will close himself.

Children become timid and cowardly: Every parent hopes that their children are brave and optimistic, but if they often pass negative energy to their children in life, it is equivalent to closing the door to courage and optimism for their children. As a result, the child becomes lonely and vulnerable, and the parents are the children's support. When the child finds that the parents cannot rely on it, the heart will become extremely timid. Children's growth should be carefree, and adults' troubles should not be given to children too much. Problems that even adults can't solve will be devastating depression when it comes to children .

Make the child appear incapable of love: Children who grow up in a family surrounded by negative energy will not only become more and more inferior in their hearts, but also become incapable of love. Child psychologists say that love incompetence means that the child does not have the courage to accept the love of others, nor to love others. This will affect the child's future relationship with others. The most influential one is the child's future view of marriage . From this we can see that parents always pass on negative energy to their children, which will affect their children's life.

So how can parents positively influence their children?

Passing positive energy 1: Don't nag and complain to children

If parents really want to be good for their children, then they should stop complaining to their children. Facing the pressure of life, complaining about a weak and helpless child will have no effect, but will only increase the psychological burden of the child. When every child hears a parent's complaint, they want to help their parents solve the problem, but they find that nothing they can do at the end, which will bring them a deep sense of frustration and unease. If you always complain to your young children about the pressure of life, it is also a manifestation of parental incompetence .

Passing positive energy 2: Decompression for children

Today's children not only have to bear the pressure of academics, but also bear the negative energy passed on by their parents. As a parent, if you really love your child, you must decompress your child, whether it is academic or psychologically negative. Some parents like to impose their own wishes on their children, and also conduct moral kidnappings on their children. If you want your children to grow up happily, don't always force them, control them, and give them a little space to breathe freely.

Passing Positive Energy Three: Passing Positive Emotions to Children

In order for children to develop mentally healthy, it is necessary to convey positive emotions to children, encourage children in life, praise children, and let children have a positive attitude. Instead of suppressing children, controlling children, so that their hearts are gradually closed. If children want to grow up happily, they need the help of positive emotions. Only in this way can children's characters become more and more sunny, and they can also feel hope for the future.

Summarize

I believe that every parent is unintentional when complaining to their children. Faced with the distress of life, parents also want to find someone to talk to, but parents must control themselves and stop talking about these life pressures to their children. Because in this process, in the face of the distress of the parents, the child wants to help the parents solve it, and wants to bear it together with the parents, but in the end, he will find that he has no solution at all, and it will only increase the sadness in his heart, so for them to be able to grow up happily Big, let's put less pressure on them.