Should there be rules for children? After experiencing these, you will know how to cultivate from an early age

Have you ever seen a child like this around you:

"When you go to other people's houses, you do everything, and if you see other people's things, as long as you like them, you have to take them home."

"Parents take their children to the supermarket. As long as the parents don't buy the things they like, they fall to the ground and cry. No matter what, it will not work until the needs are met."

"No matter what children do, they have to follow their own temperament, and if they are unsatisfactory, they will do something to their parents."

In the final analysis, parents are too coddled with their children and have not developed rules for their children since childhood, which leads to children doing whatever they want. When parents realize that the child's problem is serious, they think of setting rules for their children, but by then it is too late.

Xiao Wang's son is 3 years old, and he is known as "Little Overlord", but he is famous within a few miles.

Xiao Wang and his wife are the only child. After the son was born, grandparents loved the eldest grandson very much, let alone set rules for the eldest grandson, not even a word.

Under the careful "care" of the grandparents, the son is simply lawless, and sometimes "bully" the grandparents, but the old man is willing, they think that is the nature of the child.

Every time Xiao Wang takes his son out, he can't make it through the day without some "situation". He is either fighting with the children for things or doing damage. Xiao Wang follows behind every day to "wipe his butt" and see that his son is one big and two big.

It is estimated that there are quite a few situations like Xiao Wang's family in life. In the process of raising children, as long as the children are happy, they can do whatever they want, not to mention setting rules for the children! But if you don't set rules for your children, is it really good for your children?

1. Whether parents should set rules for their children, the answer is yes =========================================================================

There are many parents who think that there is no need to set rules for their children when they are young, and they will naturally understand when they are older. In fact, this kind of thinking is wrong. For example: If you want a small sapling to grow into a towering tree, you need to trim the branches from time to time to avoid crooked. The same is true for children, it is impossible for parents to let their children grow up naturally.

Children's rules must be set for children. Some parents feel that setting rules for children will restrict children and children will be restrained, but our environment is like this. Besides, making rules is not to constrain children, but to let children grow up in an orderly environment, what should be done and what should not be done must not. Children who know the rules can only be accepted by society when they grow up, and can handle various things and interpersonal relationships with ease.

The happiness of the child is in the hands of the parents, especially when it comes to educating the children. If the parents are lazy, the children will definitely give the parents "feedback". After something happens, the parents should not always blame the children, but should also ask themselves what they have done to their children? To let children know the rules, at least parents must let the children know what the rules are. Parents don't have rules, how can they ask their children. Some parents also want to set rules for their children, but they always fail to grasp the time and the heat, and finally the rule-making thing ends without a hitch.

2. Parents set rules for their children and can seize these time points =======================================================================

• 1. The child can understand the parent's words

In fact, the specific time to set rules for children is not absolute, because each child's growth and development are different, and children's temperament and personality are also different. Moreover, rules cannot be developed at once, so parents should pay attention to instilling them in their children when they are young. For example, some children are anxious as soon as they eat, and can’t wait for the first time. At this time, if you want to complete the eating rules for the children, you can exercise when the children are young. If the children have needs, don’t meet them immediately, and let them learn to wait through language interaction. In this way, the rules of the child are gradually developed.

• 2. When the child wants to make his own decisions

In addition, to set rules for children, it is necessary to grasp this stage of children: children begin to disobey their parents' orders, and always want to be the master by themselves, and everything is according to their own ideas. At this time, if parents do not set rules for their children, the children are likely to be "lawless". This is the nature of the child's self-awareness stage. Even if it is difficult to set rules at this time, parents must persevere. As long as they survive this stage, they can keep the sky and see the moon.

• 3. Before the age of 3, most of the rules should be developed

3 years old, 7 years old, old age are the words left by our ancestors. There is a reason for saying this. At the age of 3, basically the child's temperament has taken shape. After the age of 3, the child enters another stage of life. If there are some rules that are not developed for the child before the age of 3: such as The child's patience and self-control. If these have not been developed, it will be very difficult to set these rules for children. Because children already have their own thoughts, they will no longer be arranged and controlled by their parents as before.

Some parents also know when is the right time to set rules for their children, but they just find the wrong way. Most parents only use preaching to set rules for their children, but preaching is not suitable for all children. It is used for children with different personalities. Not the same.

3. Parents set rules for their children and learn to use them flexibly. =======================================================================

• 1. Choose one of the two

Parents should not be too tough when they set rules for their children. Some rules parents can give their children some space to choose. Parents can do what they want to guide their children. If parents want their children to obey the rules, they can try multiple-choice questions, which can not only achieve the goal, but also make the children accept it happily. For example, if the child does not want to go home when it is time to play outside, parents can tell the child whether you want to go now or play for five minutes, and execute it immediately once the choice is made.

• 2. Appropriate rewards

Parents don't always have a straight face when they set rules for their children, and sometimes they can use appropriate rewards. For example, if the child has followed the rules this time, parents can use small gifts to encourage the child, so that the child can taste the sweetness, but the parent must explain the reason for the reward to the child, so that the child is more willing to cooperate with the parent.

• 3. Cold treatment

Sometimes parents can also use cold treatment methods for things that set rules for their children. Because sometimes when the child is emotional, it is useless for the parents to say anything to the child. No matter how much they say, it is better to let the child vent his emotions and deal with it coldly. After the child's emotions are over, the parent will tell the child the rules and let the child know the rules. It's just that the rules don't need to be obeyed just because you cry.

Without rules, a circle cannot be formed. China has always been a country of etiquette. It pays attention to etiquette and rules. People who understand the rules are more popular with others. People who understand the rules can also understand others. In today’s society, you need to understand the rules everywhere. Only in this way will you go. farther.