Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the 'oil tank effect' and let children grow up happily

In life, we can always find children who often quarrel with their parents. Some parents use a simpler education method, directly using violence to solve the problem of children quarreling with their parents. But fighting violence with violence only makes things worse, and gentle education doesn't do anything, and that's the biggest headache.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

Once I was a guest at my cousin’s house, and while chatting, she also complained to me that her children were disobedient.

At the beginning, the child always lost his temper. My cousin didn't care. She felt that the child was only under too much pressure on weekdays and had good grades in school, so it was normal for him to lose his temper.

But gradually, my cousin discovered that this was wrong, and wanted to correct the child's tantrums, but it was too late. So recently my cousin is very distressed because of this matter.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

I believe that many parents are anxious about this. When children lose their temper, we do not know how to solve it. Some parents use beating and scolding, but it will only bring more negative effects. Although other methods are mild, they have basically no educational effect. But in fact, instead of struggling with how to correct a child's tantrums, we should try to understand why the child behaves like this.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

Why do children become irritable?

1. High pressure

In fact, every child is under pressure. These pressures are not only brought by their parents. Many of them come from life and school. For example, parents always like to enroll their children in remedial classes, hoping to improve their children's grades, but over time, the children will feel pressured and even have a lot of negative emotions and become anxious.

They can't meet their parents' expectations, let alone their parents' understanding. Gradually, they will feel physically and mentally exhausted. Once their emotions are backlogged to the extreme, they will burst out. The reason why children at school are stressed is the interaction with friends and the relationship with teachers.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

2. Parents neglect to care

Parents always neglect to care for their children, and this is also the reason why some children are irritable. If parents cannot give their children care in time, then the children will lack love and lack of sense of security.

Every child treats their parents' concerns differently, and some children think that their parents' attention to them is control, not caring. And some children need the attention of their parents very much. Because of lack of love, they usually use explosive temper to cover up what they really need, in order to protect themselves.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

3. Poor psychological tolerance

Every child is different, and every child's psychological quality is also different. Some children have a good psychological quality, so they never panic when they encounter things, and they never hesitate to do things. However, some children have poor psychological quality. They are relatively weak in character. When encountering something, they will choose to avoid it. Once they fail, they will lose their temper and never think about the solution.

It can be seen that there is a great relationship between children's violent emotions and parents. Then this also requires parents to pay attention to their children's emotions on weekdays and understand the relevant effects, so that they can correctly treat their children's needs.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

What is the "tank effect"?

The oil tank effect means that the child is like an oil tank, and the parent's love for the child is the oil in the tank. Parents are concerned, and loving the child to accompany the child is like pouring oil into the tank. Only in this way will the child be full of energy and do things with ease.

But over time, if parents do not care for their children in time, it will be like the oil in the oil tank being pumped out. We give less and less care to children, and children's personality will also change. Big transformation into a grumpy kid.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

Therefore, when this happens, parents should know how to use the oil tank effect. Correct use of the oil tank effect can give children more care and prevent children from having more negative emotions.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

Use the oil tank effect, so that children no longer have negative emotions

1. Sufficient companionship

Every child very much hopes that parents can accompany them enough and give them more care. This is also one of the ways to increase the child's sense of security, just like filling an oil tank with oil.

In addition, the company and care of parents can make children more motivated. Whether it is in life or learning, it will help them to a certain extent, and it can also change their personality and stabilize their emotions. The children's reporting temperament also There will be a big change.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

2. Relieve children's stress

When children are under pressure, parents should know how to help their children reduce the pressure. Many parents disagree with this, thinking that as long as there is pressure, the child will have more motivation, but if there is not much pressure, it will only overwhelm the child and make the child give up on himself.

Therefore, when we find that children are under pressure, we should guide them correctly and play a supporting role. According to the child's personality, find a suitable way for the child to relieve stress. Only in this way can the child truly grow up under pressure and know how to experience more things.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

3. Teach children to express their emotions correctly

Everyone will have negative emotions, but when these negative emotions have accumulated in the heart for a long time, they will explode once the time comes. Although children are young, they also have negative emotions. When children have negative emotions, parents should not let their children endure, but should let them vent.

Every child has a different way of venting, and we have to choose the way to vent according to the child's personality.

For example, some children like to use exercise to vent these emotions, while some children are quieter, like to read books and relieve their emotions in a alone space.

Should the child's irritability be stopped in time? Understand the "oil tank effect" and let children grow up happily

If you want to truly solve your child's bad emotions, you need to understand the reasons why your child has these emotions, and use the correct way to deal with them, so that your child will no longer have these negative emotions. The correct use of the oil tank effect by parents is the key to helping children relieve negative emotions.

So does your child have negative emotions in life? How do you help your child relieve this negative emotion? Feel free to share your approach in the comments section.