> > The child is "horizontal in the nest", indicating that the parents have given the child a sufficient sense of security, and the child's emotions have been released, which is beneficial to growth. Almost every child has a special period. Parents guide their children to wake up quickly, know how to be kind to those around them, and take into account the feelings of those around them. >

The child of my friend Xiaolin's family is 5 years old. This year, he is going to the kindergarten class. He belongs to the kind of child with a changeable personality. At home, he is a little bully. He can do whatever he wants, and there are no people who are afraid of Yoyo. Once Yoyo is in a bad mood, he will wantonly lose his temper at his family, especially when he is justified for himself, he will scold them loudly, but completely ignore their feelings.

But outside, Youyou is different. No matter who you are playing with, Yoyo can always take the initiative to give others up. Even if there are children like his toys, Yoyo doesn't dare to go up and grab them back, and even take the initiative to give them away.

My friend Xiao Lin felt that the performance of his own children was too different, that he was a typical "horror in the nest", cowardly outside , and even worried that the child was a character defect.

What are the advantages of a child's "horizontal nest" for growth?

> > Anthony Robbins once said that a person's success depends not on his achievements, but on his ability to control his emotions. If a person can easily control his emotions, he is in control of his own life. >

The child's emotions have been vented: It can be seen that it is difficult for an adult to control his emotions, let alone a child? It is normal for a child to lose his temper. Don't see a child lose his temper, and think it is a defect . Try to control the child, or even cause panic. The child is just releasing his inner emotions.

The family can give the child enough sense of security: when facing outsiders, the child knows how to restrain, but only when facing his closest family members will he find emotions, which shows that the family has given the child enough sense of security, and the child is in you In front of you can be unscrupulous and dare to show your worst side.

In front of the family, the child does not have any burden, so he dares to show his out-of-control side. Therefore, parents should tolerate the child's behavior and give the child comfort.

These kinds of situations are most likely to cause the child to be "horizontal in the nest"

Situation 1: Unprincipled compromise by family members

In the eyes of many parents, the greatest love for a child is to meet the needs of the child. Therefore, they always try their best to meet all the needs of the child. However, once the needs are not met, the child will cry. Not only that, but even to the elders.

Some parents realize that their children need to understand the rules, so they will set rules for their children, but in the process of implementing the rules, the children cry and cry, and the parents can't bear it and have no choice but to compromise . The weaknesses of the parents are bound to worsen. It can be seen that the compromise of the family has become the soil for breeding children's "horizontal in the nest".

Situation 2: Parents are also "women"

My parents are "horizontal" people, and they treat outsiders very kindly, but they come home with a stinky face. Children living in this environment for many years will inevitably have an impact . If the parents are a big "women", then the child is very likely to become a small "women".

Situation 3: The child’s social scope is narrow

Children have limited space for activities, and their life style is relatively monotonous. Family members generally dote on children and are obedient to children. Over time, children develop self-centered personality characteristics.

When encountering other people outside, children will show shy, evasive behavior, dare not express their emotions, even if they are treated unfairly, they will not dare to resist, and even avoid contact with strangers, but choose to be with themselves family together.

When I was wronged outside, I didn't dare to vent it, but vented my emotions to my family members to seek temporary relief.

How should parents guide their children out of the special period of "horizontal"?

(1) Clear rules and never compromise

Many parents are used to making rules for their children in order to worry about their children making various demands unscrupulously , but each parent shows different behaviors in the face of their children's rebellious behavior. Some parents can't help but compromise when they see their children crying, while some parents choose to persevere to the end. If they want their children to get rid of the habit of "horizontal in the nest", they must be absolutely uncompromising.

After formulating the rules, it is necessary to strictly follow the rules and let the children understand the boundaries of their parents. The real love of parents for their children is not to unconditionally meet their children 's requirements, but to learn to refuse them properly and let their children clarify their own rules of behavior .

(2) Let children know how to properly express their emotions

Emotions are innate, many adults have difficulty controlling their emotions, and it is normal for children to vent their emotions to their family members. However, a child’s way of venting his emotions is only limited to making loud noises. incorrect. There are many ways to express emotions, and children should learn to express their emotions correctly.

When the child loses his temper, parents should not always stop the child, but should understand him from the child's point of view, tolerate him, hug the child , and tell him, "Mom knows that you are not happy, if you lose your temper at mother , it will also make my mother unhappy, if we meet again next time, can we change the way?"

(3) Provide opportunities for children to socialize

Take your child to parties often to give your child the opportunity to meet more people. Maybe at first children are afraid to talk to strangers, but as more and more strangers come into contact with them, children will become more and more brave, and they will also know how to get along with strangers and how to express their emotions correctly.

When the child's social skills improve, the phenomenon of "horizontal" will gradually disappear, replaced by a bold child who not only dares to express his happiness in public, but also dare to express his anger.

Summarize:

There are no bad kids, only parents who can't teach them. Most of the problems in children are due to the lack of parental education. When the child behaves "in the nest", parents should change their education methods so that the children can properly vent their emotions.