> > In the eyes of parents, every child is innocent, and it is impossible to associate lying with the child in any case. Only after the child really lies to himself can he realize that the child learns to lie. There are differences in human ability, but one must be honest. Many parents often show extreme behavior after seeing their children lie. In fact, it is normal for children to make mistakes in the process of growing up, and parents need to help their children correct their mistakes. >

My best friend's son, Nao Nao, is three years old. She called and told me that Nao Nao had recently become a drama star.

It turned out that on weekends, girlfriends took Nao Nao to the small square to play. There was a sand pool in the small square. Many children liked to play here, and Nao Nao was no exception. Because of work, my girlfriend went to the side to make a phone call.

When I went back, I found that I was crying. At first, the child said that the child pushed him. A mother next to her told her best friend that your son is too good. He grabbed the toys with the children, and after pushing others, he quickly grabbed the sand around him and sprinkled it on himself, pretending to be particularly aggrieved, and burst into tears.

After listening to what others said, the best friend realized that Nao Nao had lied, and also expressed that she was very worried that the child would lie. In fact, parents' feelings are understandable, but in the face of their children's occasional lying behavior, parents do not need to worry at all, but should be happy, because lying is a manifestation of children's intelligence. Correctly find the reason for the child's lying, and give the correct guidance, the child will definitely correct the lying behavior.

Parents should correctly understand the behavior of children lying

Lying kids are smarter than other kids

Lie itself is a kind of nothingness, and children can make up the nothingness and deceive adults successfully, which shows that their cognitive behavior is more advanced than that of ordinary children.

Children need to have strong self-control to be able to tell lies successfully. For example, to adjust their facial expressions, they also need to control their body posture and organize their language in place. This is a set of responsible skills . .

Lying is the beginning of children knowing how to protect themselves

When children realize the possible consequences of their actions, they often choose a path that avoids pain and punishment, and thus lies. This shows that the child already knows how to protect himself . Although this kind of behavior is not advocated, it at least shows that the child has a sense of self-protection .

There are three reasons why children lie

Children have strong vanity: Children also want face, especially when they are criticized, they often think that they have lost face. Therefore, when others talk about this matter again, they are likely to beautify the facts , tell the other party that they are often praised, and want to cover up the fact that they are not good enough to satisfy their direct vanity.

Children want the attention of their parents: Many parents are usually busy with work, and it is difficult to spend time with their children. They even ask for leave to accompany their children only when they are sick. Children want to get their parents' attention, so they lie and tell their parents that they are uncomfortable, and use this method to attract their parents' attention and let them accompany them.

The child is worried about being punished: if the child does something wrong, many parents don’t ask questions, they beat the child violently . The way the parents deal with it makes the child feel intimidated , so the next time they do something wrong, they will not dare to face it. Reality.

> > In order to avoid parental violence, children have to lie to avoid punishment. This shows that children's lying behavior has something to do with their parents' education. It is precisely because of their violent solutions that children dare not face their own mistakes. >

When children lie, how should parents guide their children correctly?

Method 1: Guide the child to tell the truth and accept the child's emotions

Observe the child's behavior and guide the child to tell the truth. No matter whether your judgment is true or false, you must listen carefully to the child's speech. Don't misunderstand the child and affect the parent-child relationship.

Even if the child has finished telling the truth and the parents don’t believe it, they should put aside their doubts for the time being, accept the child’s emotions first, give the child a hug or touch the head, relieve the child’s inner anxiety and anxiety, and let the child feel the parent’s care.

Method 2: Parents directly state the truth

After expressing their love for their children, parents also need to face the truth. You can choose to tell your child that parents know the truth. If you really want something, there is absolutely no need to lie, because you can get what you want through some legitimate means, and parents will try their best to satisfy you wishes.

During the whole process, parents try their best to use a gentle and calm tone to avoid letting children think that parents are blaming themselves. The purpose of exposing the truth is to let children know that they can get what they want in a different way. Know how to face the problem correctly.

Method 3: Correctly understand the child's mistakes

When a child makes a mistake, parents will inevitably blame the child, but they forget to consider the problem from the child's point of view. Maybe one thing is not done well, just because he is too young, parents should give the child more understanding and tolerance of the child's mistakes , and the child will not deliberately lie to cover up his wrong behavior.

Let the children understand that their behaviors can be forgiven, wrongdoing is also understood, they can work with their parents to find a solution, and there is no need to lie to hide their wrong behavior.

Method 4: The parent reiterates the solution

When parents understand their child's wrong behavior, they should also tell the child how to deal with it correctly , so that the child can avoid making similar mistakes again.

Starting from specific cases , let children understand that there are multiple ways to deal with a matter, each way corresponds to a result, and the result of lying is facing being exposed. After debunking, their own image will be affected, and Others are likely to stop believing in themselves. From this perspective, lying is a behavior that outweighs the gains. Advise children that choosing a correct solution is far more important than pretending to be themselves.

Summarize

No matter what the reason is for the child to lie, parents must understand that the child at this moment is helpless and needs our help. The reason why children lie may be frightened by their parents, so they subconsciously choose to lie to deal with the problem. In the process of lying, children must also be uneasy and struggling. Parents should have a correct understanding of children's lying behavior, so as to guide children to learn how to deal with problems correctly.