Many parents face a problem when educating their children, that is, the children do not listen to their own words, and sometimes they will fight against themselves, constantly challenging their bottom line , and this has become a major problem for many parents to educate their children. .

case analysis

Ms. Zhou's children have this habit. The more Ms. Zhou does not let the child do, the more the child will challenge Ms. Zhou's bottom line and secretly do some things behind Ms. Zhou's back.

Recently, the child suffered from tooth decay. In order to prevent the child's toothache, Ms. Zhou put away all the candy and sweets at home, and explicitly prohibited the child from eating sweets. But in recent days, Ms. Zhou always found that there were less candies and cakes in the cupboard, thinking that it was just her husband who ate it. After asking her husband, she said that she never eats those things, and then Ms. Zhou realized that it was The child ate it by himself.

But when questioning the child, the child repeatedly stated that he did not steal the food, which made Ms. Zhou very helpless. After all, there was no evidence to "convince" the child.

Once when I took my child to the shopping mall to buy clothes, the child suddenly saw a small train running in the shopping mall and was clamoring for it to play. But because Ms. Zhou did not have much time, she had to go to the night shift after buying clothes for her children, so she would definitely be late for taking the children to play on the train. But the child kept crying and refused to leave. There was no other way. Finally, he could only take the child to play for a while, but he was really late.

Ms. Zhou was very disappointed with the child's performance. She didn't understand why the child became like this, and why the child never listened to her own words. In fact, this behavior of children has a certain relationship with the forbidden fruit effect.

What is the forbidden fruit effect?

The so-called forbidden fruit effect actually refers to the fact that the more forbidden things to do, the more curious others will be. Will not make out-of-bounds moves.

It's like a child who doesn't eat candy many times on weekdays, but if a parent suddenly forbids the child to eat it, the child will secretly eat candy behind the parent's back. However, if parents put candy in front of their children, children will lose their interest in seeing candy every day, and will not make too much candy.

The fact that children do not listen to their parents is also the reason why they lose their respect for their parents, which leads to the emergence of the forbidden fruit effect. So what are the behaviors of parents that cause children to lose their respect for their parents?

What behaviors of parents make children lose their respect for their parents?

1. Doting

Nowadays, more and more parents are overly doting on their children, thinking that with the current family conditions, they can give their children a better life. Therefore, these children are overly doted by their parents and overly tolerant of their children's mistakes. Among these behaviors, children realize their importance, so it means challenging the parents’ bottom line and making more wrong actions , because they think that even if they do something wrong, their parents will not blame them, which will lead to children He lost his respect for his parents and became more reckless.

2, do not know how to reject children

The reason why some children lose their respect for their parents is because the parents never know how to refuse their children's demands. Everyone has needs, even children are no exception, but when children can't meet these requirements alone, they will ask their parents to ask them to help them do it.

Some parents who dote on their children too much never know how to refuse unreasonable demands of their children. Gradually, the affection between parents and children has changed, and children no longer know how to respect their parents.

3. Education has no rules

Although the current education advocates that parents and children be friends together, parents should know that if the identity transition crosses the boundary, then the child will lose respect for the parent's fate. There are no rules for this kind of education method, and the child begins to lose the parent in awe,

Parents should never think that children do not know how to respect their parents because they are too young. If parents do not pay attention to this situation, it will also cause harm to children. What should children do not only for their parents, but also for their parents?

How should parents respond to their child's behavior?

1. Make rules

It is precisely because there are no rules for parents to educate their children, and no rules are made in the family, that causes children to lose their respect for their parents. What parents need to do in this situation is to establish rules for their children. It is the parents who face the children who do wrong. We must remember not to condone the children. This will only make the children more self-willed and make the children have no reverence for their parents.

First of all, we need to identify ourselves and our children, and let children realize that parents always need to be feared. Later, we can formulate the rules in the family together with the children. Only by discussing the rules with the children can the children truly understand the importance of the rules. Then when the parents implement the rules, the children will not reject them, which is more convenient for the parents. to establish dignity. The rules have been dealt with, so when the child does something wrong, the parent must also be "ruthless" to punish , let the child know what kind of punishment will be faced for the wrong thing, and the child will naturally not challenge the parent's bottom line.

2. Lead by example

Leading by example is something every parent needs to do. In life, parents always ask their children to complete some goals, but the parents' requirements have never been achieved by their children before, and this means that children no longer trust their parents and begin to resist them. Therefore, parents must understand this point, let us be a role model for our children , and let ourselves do it before asking our children, and lead by example can bring a good influence to our children.

Moreover, this kind of behavior of parents can't say that they have no positive image in front of their children, so that parents can gain the respect and trust of their children, so that children can be more in awe of their parents.

3. Cultivate children's sense of boundaries

Although many parents now like to get along with their children as friends, while using this identity with children, we also need to clarify our own identities, so that children have a sense of boundaries, and prevent children from crossing boundaries .

For example, when eating, children know that they do not like to be fed by their parents. This is the behavior of children with a sense of boundaries. But if the child keeps crying and asks the parent to feed, it also proves that the child and the parent have no sense of boundaries.

Parents who lose their authority in front of their parents are the worst failures, so some children have the courage to challenge their parents’ bottom line. In these situations, parents should know how to take their own dignity and let their children re-awe of themselves. In the case of maintaining a harmonious family, it can also give children a good education.