Some time ago, a friend told me something, which can be true or false, and there is no need for everyone to be serious.

My friend's front yard (also called ex-neighbor, everyone in the countryside should know that there are many houses beside a road, usually in two rows staggered), a sister is in her 40s this year, and no one can say how old she is, everyone compares taboo. This sister has a boyfriend, about 36 years old. Recently, I have been tangled, because this boyfriend has no car, no house, and no savings, so I have been tangled and don't know what to do.

a troubled marriage

Where did this topic come from? Let's briefly describe this matter first. This young lady had several relationships when she was young, but when she was in love, her family was relatively strong, and she had to ask her partner to have a car and a house. Everyone knows that buying a car and a house in the past was not very difficult, but for ordinary families, it was more or less difficult to expect a young man in his 20s who just graduated to be able to directly buy a car and buy a house.

Moreover, it was not popular to buy a building at that time. Generally, when you get married, you can build a house in the village. But this little sister's father is more open-minded and far-sighted, and he recognized that he must buy a house in the city . For those people in ordinary villages, they have no ability to buy a house in the city, and those who can buy a house in the city look down on this young lady, so they have been delayed.

• The added pressure of marriage

This delay has been delayed for six or seven years. It is said that this young lady met her sweetheart when she was 30 years old. As for the number one in the row, I don't know. The love is a mess. It's just that when the two parties really came to talk about marriage, they encountered the issue of the bride price. Although the woman no longer requires a house and a car, the bride price of 200,000 cannot be less.

10 years ago, the bride price of 200,000 was required, which was a bit scary . Naturally, this matter became colder. If the bride price is not enough at the beginning, it means that there is no sincerity, and there is no sincerity in the marriage. It is better not to.

There must be sincerity, and the sincerity must be real, and it has been delayed like this. A few months ago, I heard that this young lady met another suitable person, but when the right time came, the family The people who did not mention dowry or anything, just put forward a few basic requirements: that is, to have a car, a house, and savings , but these requirements are not as good as the dowry requirements. Relatively speaking, the betrothal gift is just a specific number. If you have a car, a house, and a deposit, you can’t bear it without 1.5 million after tossing back and forth.

• No money is no heart

This is almost a big problem for our friends over there, that is, how to introduce people to others, but in the end it was delayed because of the issue of money, and the delay seems to be unsatisfactory in the end. From asking for a house at the beginning to asking for a betrothal gift, to finally having a car, a house and a passbook, this is almost all challenging a person's bottom line.

We might as well put this matter a bit more bluntly, that is love in the true sense, why should it be linked to money in an absolute sense? We admit that love is not perfect without money, and love cannot go to the end. But if love and money are tightly tied together, there is no love without money. Such love does not seem to be pure, and even one day, once this love has deteriorated, there is no place to cry.

Ages do not wait for people, we have to say the most sarcastic things or the little friends who don't listen to them at all: a girl is beautiful in the past ten or twenty years. Once you miss that age, you can expect to be so beautiful. Basically unlikely.

This is why women have a certain sense of timeliness. We must bloom the most beautiful flowers at the most beautiful age, so that we can live up to our journey of this life. Of course, some people have said that I think the most beautiful flower is the unrestrained and unrestrained life of oneself. There are too few dowry gifts for my own self, and if there are too many men, the husband can't afford it. After tossing and turning, it may end up being a leftover woman.

Marriage Can Make Appropriate Compromises on Appropriate Basis

Some people will definitely say: The two of us are very suitable, but the man has no car, no money, no savings, and the man's house is in tatters. After being together, the future will definitely be difficult. When you ask this question and need others to be able to get an argument, I'm afraid others don't need an argument at all, because you already have the answer in your heart.

After working in the workplace for so many years, I have seen some juniors in the workplace who were able to reap the fruits of love, and I have also seen some people who clearly fell in love with each other, but ended up in a bleak end. Why are there different results? I am afraid the most important point is to compromise with each other and run in with each other. If you are unwilling to even the most basic running-in and compromise, this kind of love will not be pure, and will have more loopholes, which will add countless troubles to us in the days to come.

• Compromise 1: Dowry can be given, but in moderation

We don't have to follow the big cities. In a big city, a betrothal gift costs 100,000, 200,000 or even 1 million or 5 million. We also need 1 million or 5 million? It was just wanting to go blind. The crux of the problem lies in the fact that people in big cities give dowry gifts, 5 million will be returned as a dowry, and 4.5 million will be returned, or the dowry will be 6 million.

Do you have the kind of strong family background of other people's women? If so, of course, you can try it, but from the perspective of my friend's front yard neighbors, it seems that there is no such strength at all. Without such strength, there is no need to be swollen and fat, and have to learn from others. Do you learn from someone with someone's qualifications, someone's education, someone's experience, and someone's resources and connections?

If there is, it can be improved a bit, but if not, there is no need to be too serious. I have also seen many couples who have no dowry at all, and they have been living well so far. Less can be said. At least we can do it between 50,000 and 200,000. There is no need to make unlimited demands and turn marrying a daughter into a business. Such a business is more or less shameful.

• Compromise 2: Necessities such as RV

An RV is a necessity and a non-necessity. Do you have to have a house to get married? Do you have to have a car to get married? Let’s take a large first-tier city as an example. A house may cost several million yuan. How can a young man who has just graduated for a year or two, three or five years can afford a house, and how can he afford a car?

Buying a car costing more than 500,000 yuan and maintaining it will cost you about 1 million yuan in 5 to 10 years. If you buy a car for 1 million yuan, you will be blind, so There is no need to look too far, nor to stare too long, for this section of the house and car.

We need to give ourselves the most basic guarantee under a moderate premise, and this part of the guarantee can ensure that we don’t have to worry about food and clothing, as well as eating and drinking. Can have motivation.

Workplace Apocalypse

Someone said: This is a typical emotional problem, why do you have to use the workplace apocalypse? In fact, we can also make a brief analysis from the perspective of the workplace. If at the very beginning, the goal of our marriage is to make money and get married, and the goal is to have a car and a house and make a fortune at the same time, this marriage is not a marriage, but a business.

Just like my colleague's ex-neighbor, who is 40 years old and still living alone, is he still thinking about the other party's car, house and savings at this time? So in another year, two years, or five or 10 years, you will really become a day lily . What is the probability of being able to marry after becoming a day lily? Guys, what do you think about this? You are welcome to leave a message in the comment area.