People who can talk always give people a feeling of spring breeze. On the other hand, those who can't speak, sometimes not out of bad intentions, say some unintentional words and make others feel uncomfortable, which is a very "wrongful" thing.

When many people stay in a hotel, they will have the experience of checking out. When checking out at the front desk, the waiters would make us wait for a while because they were going to round the room. At this time, the waiter who can't speak will say:

> > "You wait a moment, we will check out the room before we check out if there is anything damaged or missing." >

How do you feel when you hear this? I believe that the first feeling of many people is: Isn't this treating me as a thief defense? Very uncomfortable. Thus left a bad impression, if there are more choices next time, may not stay in this hotel.

And those talking waiters would say:

> > "Please wait a moment, we are going to your room to see if you have anything left in the room." >

Saying it this way will serve the same purpose, but guests will not feel offended and will also feel that the hotel is caring.

This is the charm of speaking. Sometimes, in order to achieve a certain purpose, you have many comfortable expressions. Why do you say something that makes you uncomfortable? Especially in a workplace full of competition and complex interpersonal relationships, sometimes you may make enemies just because of one sentence.

In the workplace, some people are successful because of one sentence, and some people are bad because of one sentence. There is a saying in China that "the speaker has no intention, the listener has intention". Many times when you communicate with others in the workplace, you may say something that you don't think is inappropriate, but it leaves a bad impression on others.

In psychology, there is a special term to explain this phenomenon called waterfall effect . It refers to the fact that although the person who sends the message is relatively peaceful, the person receiving the message may have a rush of thoughts and it is difficult to calm down, and then change in attitude and behavior.

This is like a waterfall in nature. The upper stream is relatively stable, but when it encounters a cliff, the water will pour down, causing countless splashes.

Therefore, we must pay attention to proportion when we speak in the workplace or in our daily life, so as not to make others feel uncomfortable. Today, I will share some of the most common taboos in the workplace. People who talk about these 4 sentences are often considered by others to be low in emotional intelligence, and will inevitably suffer great losses in the workplace. I hope you can check it yourself, and change it if you have it.

"I said it would happen sooner or later"

Everyone has a colleague in the workplace. His name is "Zhuge Liang after the fact". This kind of person always has a "high IQ" after something happens.

For example, when there are some problems during the operation of a certain project of the company, and everyone is trying to solve it, then "after the fact, Zhuge Liang" will jump out and say: "I will say it, so that the problem will come out sooner or later" and so on. if. And most of them have to be accompanied by a high-hanging look, full of complaints and reproaches to colleagues.

At this time, everyone was in a bad mood, but suddenly someone came out and said that this kind of problem is not conducive to solving the problem, and if it increases the contradiction, it is estimated that his colleagues have the heart to beat him up.

Therefore, with hindsight such as "I just said that something would happen sooner or later", "I knew this would be the result", etc., don't say it in the company, you think it shows your foresight and vision, In fact, it does no harm to you, and your colleagues despise you in their hearts. These words are also called fighters in the wrong words, remember not to say them.

"Why are you so joking?"

I believe that everyone has heard this sentence in their lives, and this kind of person is a typical person with a weak sense of psychological boundaries. Psychological boundaries are like a fence that everyone builds around themselves. Inside the fence is a private area that cannot be violated by others.

And some people always like to joke about other people's weaknesses, and take their ignorance as humor. When the other party shows some displeasure, they say, "Why can't you be so joking?"

But joking is a joke only if both parties find it funny. Building happiness on the embarrassment of others is a sign of selfishness and low emotional intelligence.

Sometimes I may really hit the other person's pain point unintentionally. When someone is obviously unhappy, you shouldn't blame the other person for "can't make a joke" for the first time. Instead, you should reflect on whether your jokes have gone too far. At this time, you should say something sorry like "I'm sorry" or "I'm sorry" to let the other party know that you didn't mean it.

"It's all about xxx"

Jack Ma once said: "When complaining becomes a habit, it's like using sea water to quench thirst. The more you drink, the more thirsty you become."

Some people are like this. No matter what happens, the first thing they do is complain that others are not good, as if they have never missed it. Everything is the fault of others.

For example, when a team divides labor and cooperates on a certain task, a mistake occurs in a certain link, which delays time. At this time, you jump out and say: "Everyone blames so-and-so, such a simple thing can't be done well." Even this It's human fault, if you say such a sentence, it will also make people think that you are a person with low emotional intelligence.

Don't complain about this and that for the first time when you encounter something. Complaining will never solve the problem, and it will also increase the conflict in the team, making others feel that you are an unreliable person.

"You can't do that, why don't you..."

There is a saying in "The Analects of Confucius, Duke Ling of Wei": "If you bow your body thick and take responsibility for others, you will be far off." It means that you should not always praise yourself for being a good person, and always say that others are not good.

The most taboo thing in life is arrogance, and some people always show their power by belittling others. The most common ones are those who always say "you can't do this", "it's not as good as me xxx", it is not an exaggeration to say that some people have taken these words as a mantra, feeling good about themselves and thinking they are powerful, in fact, others will only think You are frivolous, easy to teach, and hard to trust.

A person with real ability never lifts himself up by putting others down. And only those people with low emotional intelligence always disrespect others and don't consider other people's feelings.

Write at the end:

A person's ability to solve problems, 20% depends on IQ, 80% comes from emotional intelligence .

In the workplace, people with high emotional intelligence will always solve things easily, so as not to leak. The most direct manifestation of high emotional intelligence is good communication skills, which is the best lubricant in interpersonal relationships.

I've observed a lot of talking people in the workplace, and they all get along very well without exception. Some people say that maybe they are lucky, but the real good luck is hidden in your emotional intelligence. A person who can talk, is a smart person who knows how to deal with things, they always go smoothly in the workplace or in society.

Remember, how comfortable you are with your speech determines how far you can go in the future and how high you can reach in life.